You're Going to Miss Me! Reposted
by lilbitjrfan8
Summary: Dimitri Leaves Rose after the cabin, 4 years later they meet again. How will she react and What secrets is she hiding? She does not have a kid . I've done this story once but I fixed a few things and decided to repost it!
1. Chapter 1

I walk into the gym excited training is starting up again! When I got there nothing was set up and I couldn't find Dimitri so I went to into the closet to see if maybe he was running behind schedule. Luckily he was in there but something seemed off, he looked kind of sad and like he was thinking about something really hard. Me, being Rose Hathaway just had to make some kind of remark.

"Don't strain yourself too hard comrade" I said with a smile. He jumped like I had caught him off guard. When I mentioned comrade his guardian mask faltered a little and I saw pain? Why would he feel pained? But before I could look any closer the mask was back.

"Rose we need to talk...or well I need to tell you something" he said. Uh-oh that couldn't be good he never calls me rose.

"Sure what about?"

"Rose I'm leaving. I'm going to guard Tasha and help her out." My mind shut down after he said he was leaving and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Leaving? But why we had it all worked out and we were going to be together. Why are you doing this? Why are you throwing us away?"

"It's for the best roza" he said with a pleading look, but at the mention of my Russian nickname I cracked.

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT BELIKOV NOT IF YOU'RE LEAVING! You have no right anymore" I shouted but the last part was a mere whisper. As I was talking he had started to walk towards me his hand reached out, but I slapped it away.

"Don't you touch me. Have a nice life without me" I said with as much venom in my voice as I could muster. His mask slipped and I saw pain but why I should he be hurt he's leaving me. I turned and stormed out trying my hardest not to cry. I ran out the doors and around the corner not paying attention to what was around me and accidentally bumped someone. I was expecting to fall but two warm hands steadied me.

"Rose are you ok?" he asked. I looked up and saw Christian. By then the traitorous tears had escaped and were flowing freely down my cheeks. He took one look at my face and got a pissed off look on his face.

"No" was all I could say but it came out more as a whimper. Immediately his arms went around me trying to comfort me. We stood there for a minute until I heard the gym doors open up. I took off running without a glance behind me, not wanting to see _him_. I faintly heard Christian running behind me, but I just kept running until I found a deserted bench with no one around. Finally I stopped and heard Christian panting behind me.

"rose what's going on?" he asked confused

I couldn't answer because I couldn't form the words I just sat there and cried. I felt arms wrap around me, I laid my head on his shoulder and just cried. When I was finally was done crying for the moment I looked up at Christian.

"Sorry for that"

"don't worry about it your like my sister and you needed to get that out, just don't do it again" he joked with a small grin. I tried to smile but my lips just wouldn't work right.

"Rose seriously what's wrong?" he asked sincerely.

"I knew I needed to tell him and Lissa eventually so I just let it all out. I told him everything from when Lissa and I got back all the way up to a few minutes ago in the gym.

"I'm going to kill him for that!" he said

"No just leave it he made his decision I'm just going to have to try and move on" I said and I meant it I just didn't know if I could.

"Well you always have me, and Lissa, and all of your other friends." He said

"Yea I just don't know if I should tell Lissa. Not with everything else she's been having to deal with and when I do she's going to hate me for not telling her sooner then she's going to end up feeling guilty and I don't want to lay this all on her like that."

"She'll be fine yes she'll be hurt at first but she'll get over it, she's tough and can handle it."

"Hey Christian?"

"Yea?"

"Thanks"

"No problem…..but seriously don't tell anyone about this. I don't want it to ruin my rep."

"Ha don't worry I'll keep it just between us" I said still not smiling but a little closer to one.

"Thanks" he said giving me another hug. About that time I heard a gasp. We both turn to look and see Lissa standing there looking pissed and shocked.


	2. Chapter 2

I see her looking me up and down and that's when I realized I was still in my sports bra and short shorts from 'practice'.

"I can't believe you two! How could you do this to me?" shouted Lissa

"This isn't what it looks like Lissa please just let me explain" I said trying but failing to calm her down.

"Explain what? How you're sleeping with my boyfriend?" she screamed

"Lissa look it's not like that. Rose had a problem and I ran into her and she needed a friend. That's it." Christian tried to explain.

"What kind of problem? Did she run out of guys to mess around with?" she said with venom in her voice.

_Oh no she didn't!_I thought

"Really Lissa you're my best friend why would I do that to you?"

"You're no best friend of mine I never want to see you again! Just get out of my sight and stay there!"

"Fine if that's the way you want it I'm gone!" I shouted not believing what was going on. I know I probably should've stayed and tried to explain but my pride was getting the best of me. So I just turned and ran away. Behind me I could faintly hear Christian talking to her trying to explain but I just kept running. I ran all the way to my room and grabbed a suitcase and just started piling my things in. After about 5 minutes I heard a knock at my door.

"GO AWAY!" I yelled

"Little dhampir it's me. Let me in."

Ugh Adrian! Don't get me wrong I love Adrian he's one of my best friends I just know that if I let him come in he's going to try and talk me out of it.

"Little dhampir where are you going to go? Where are you going to stay? Your going to need money."

"Fine!" I went over and opened the door.

"I knew that would work….little dhampir what are you doing?"

"I'm leaving I'm not needed here anymore"

"I need you."

"No you don't Adrian. You have Lissa and everyone else and you'll still be able to contact me. I just need to get out of here. There's no point in staying."

"Fine. But at least let me help you. Do you still have the card I gave you?"

"Yes but..."

"No buts," he said cutting me off. "Your going to need money. How do you expect to get any where? Where do you expect to stay with no money?"

"Fine but I'm just going to use it for a little while until I get a job and can pay for myself."

"That's all I'm asking for Little Dhampir"

"Adrian?"

"Yea?"

"Thanks" I said while giving him a hug. "Your all I have left"

"No problem. You'll always have me little dhampir"

With that I turned around and finished packing. When I was all done Adrian and I walked down towards the front gate. We stopped to say our final goodbyes.

"For what it's worth Rose he was stupid for leaving you"

"Thanks Adrian, for everything. Despite everything I will miss you."

"I'll miss you too Little Dhampir. I'll see you in your dreams tonight."

"K. but do me a favor, take care of Lissa she'll regret this later but it's still for the best. Just watch out for her and don't let her go too crazy." And I meant it I could already start to feel guilt through the bond but it didn't matter even if it had never happened I would still be leaving, I needed to do it for myself.

"No problem Little Dhampir I'll be seeing you."

"Bye Adrian" I said as I gave him one last hug. I turned away and walked out of the gats and started down the street heading towards the nearest town, ready to start my new life.

**(Sorry yall but I'm skipping the story ahead to 4 years later, that whole last part and chapter 1 was rose thinking about that day)**

"Rose…..Rose are you ok?" said Joseph

"Yea sorry just spaced out for a minute, I just got a phone call from Adrian and he informed me that everybody from my past is coming to the bar tonight"

"When you say everybody does that include…..?"

"Yep" I said popping the p, "Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Mia, Adrian, Aria, Tasha and _him._"

"Oh I see. Are you going to be ok?"

"I think so. I need to face them sometime."

"Come here." He said as he gave me a hug. Joseph and I have been friends for almost 4 years. He is three years older than me, not that he knew that at first. He was the bartender in a karaoke bar in Austin, Texas. I had decided to stay there partly because I figured no one would look for me there, and partly because of some other reason I couldn't quite explain. I walked in looking for a job and told him I was 21. He took me in and taught me how to bartend, I've been there ever since. About a year and a half of working there a man who at first glance looked exactly like _him_walked in duster and all. Needless to say Joseph found me 30 minutes later in the supply closet crying my eyes out. That night I told him everything, we've been best friends ever since. He's kind of like my big brother. We tried the whole relationship thing but agreed we were better as best friends.

"Thanks teddy bear" I said with a smile pulling away

"No problem posie" he said back with a grin

It was our thing now. I told him he looked like a giant teddy bear, which he does. He stands about 6' 2" has short dark brown hair and is very muscular. He's the kind of guy that looks like he could squash you without blinking but really wouldn't hurt a fly unless given a good reason.

"just ignore them posie, today's your birthday and your going to celebrate and be happy"

"k I'll try"

"no you are. Now go get ready we need to get going."

"fine." I said running up the stairs to go get ready.


	3. Chapter 3

**I originally wanted to put at least one song in every chapter but every time I go to write I get kicked off the computer but I'm going to try it starting next chapter.**

**I realized the last few chapters I forgot the disclaimer so here it is, I do not own anything in this story except the plot, Jo, Aria, Casey, and John. Richelle Mead AKA my favorite author owns everything else!**

**Last thing, thank you to everyone who has read and commented, or done any alerts. They make my day because I honestly didn't think anybody would read this and I'm still not sure if it's good or not because some parts are harder to write than others so please R&R and help me out. I have part of the story planned out but I need some ideas so if you have any please feel free to share. Well that's it and I'll let you read now. R&R please.**

**Love always, Cassandra**

Once I was ready we headed to the bar. Normally I would be bartending but since today was my birthday, oh yea I forgot to mention that earlier, Jo insisted that I had the night off and the only thing I was 'allowed' to do was drink and have fun. Like that's going to happen. Since Jo now owns the bar we had to show up a few hours early and since I wasn't allowed to do anything I went over to look at our song selections trying to decide if I was going to sing tonight and if so what.

A few hours later I had finally decided I would but still was unsure about what. Right about time to open I walked over to the bar to talk to Jo and Casey the other bartender. About a year after working here Casey got hired on and we've pretty much been best friends ever since. She knows some of my past but I wouldn't tell her everything and as much as I hate to admit it our friendship wasn't half as good as Lissa's and mine had been. _**Stop thinking like that rose**___I scolded myself _**you've moved on and so have they.**_

"Hey are you ready?" Jo asked

"Hah your funny. I don't think I'll ever be ready but I guess I'll just have to get over it huh?"

"Relax you'll be fine you've got me and everyone else. We're here for you and we're so getting you drunk!"

"Oh yea lets have a repeat of her 21st party that's smart" Casey said with heavy sarcasm.

"Ok that was pretty hilarious. You've got to admit you were thoroughly entertained for the night and the next month every time you saw rose" said Jo with a smirk. Last year Jo got me so plastered I forgot most of the night, but the little I could remember I wished I could forget. Lets' just say I woke up naked on the bathroom floor at Jo's house with a new tattoo and wearing an electric blue wig. They still won't tell me what all happened 'for my own good.'

"Yea your right it was f'ing funny" said Casey.

"oh god please let me remember tonight I hate not remembering what I did last year, some of the regulars still give me creepy grins and thumbs up every time I see them! Oh and please don't let me embarrass myself"

"sure posie we'll watch out for you" he said with a grin.

'_**Oh god this is going to be a long night and I hope I remember it'**_ I thought but then I remember _THEY_were coming tonight '_**ok maybe I do want to forget some of tonight, depends on what happens'**_

Right about then people started showing up so I went to the bathroom to check out how I looked. I glanced in the mirror and applied some more lip gloss and checked out my outfit. I had chosen to wear a black mini dress. Normally I don't wear dresses because they made it hard to fight, a lesson learned from the time I was kidnapped a year and a half ago but lets not go there it still really hard to deal with, but I decided with Lissa and them coming she'd bring enough guardians so I would be ok (even though I wasn't involved in the vampire world that much strigoi are still around and I've still kept up in training and still fought them) plus this dress was just way too cute! It has long sleeves and goes to about mid-thigh. It has horizontal slits randomly and up the sleeves showing the red satin material. It fit snug, not slutty but enough to show off my assets. I had chosen some black 3 inch stilettos that had sparkly red and black straps criss-crossing randomly up to the top of my ankle. For jewelry I was wearing a black, silver, and red dangling necklace with a bunch of random charms hanging together and the bracelet Jo bought me for my birthday. On my make-up I decided to use bright red lip-stick and black smoky eyes with a touch of blush and bronzer. _**'Damn I look good!'**_

With one final glance I walked out and ended up bumping into someone.

"sorry I should have pa…Little Dhampir? So this is where you've been hiding" said the one and only Adrian Ivashkov, "dang girl you look hot!" He hasn't really changed much but then again I see him 2-3 times a month in my dreams, I've just never told him where I was for fear of him telling someone or trying to come get me himself.

"So you finally found me. Damn looks like its time to move again, and does your girlfriend know where your at? She might want to keep a better eye on you" I said jokingly.

"Ah Little Dhampir how I've missed your smart ass comments, Christians just aren't enough. And for your information Aria is over at the bar you should come finally meet her."

About a year after I left Adrian met Aria his fiancé. I've heard all about her and have been wanting to meet her but seeing as I haven't even seen him in person I kind of couldn't.

"I take it yall are still going strong? And duh firecrotchs' comments aren't half as good as mine I'm the queen at comebacks and smart-ass remarks."

"That you are little dhampir, that you are. And yes the wedding is about a month away and I really hope you will come. But before we get into that why don't you come meet her?"

"is everyone over there? I heard they were coming."

"When I left they were all at a table in the back and just Aria was waiting for me at the bar."

"Okay good lets' go."

We walked over to the bar and he pointed her out. She was wearing a glittery purple mini dress that was tight at the top and flowed out to her mid-thigh, it really went with her dark red hair.

"Aria meet Rose. Rose this is my Fiance Aria."

"Rose its so good to finally meet you Addie's told me all about you but I was starting to wonder if you were real or not," she said with a smile.

"I hope it was all good things but knowing me it probably wasn't" I said laughing "Adrian's told me about you too and I'm really happy to meet you. Sorry we haven't met before its just kind of hard to travel all the way up there with my job and stuff."

We kept talking for about 15 minutes and I decided I really do like this girl we have a lot in common and she seems hell-a fun! After a little while a song by Cobra Starship called 'Hot-mess' came on and Adrian and Aria went to go dance. One of the regulars named John came over and we decided to go dance.

I'll admit if I actually dated he would not be a bad choice. He was hot with his brown hair and piercing blue-gray eyes, and he was pretty muscular but not in the gross over done way. He really was a nice guy and I've thought about dating him but I know it'd be unfair to him. I told him all this once and surprisingly he's ok with it and now he's kind of just like my big brother up here, if a guy won't leave me alone or starts hitting on me, or whatever he'll come over and help me out if Jo doesn't beat him to it.

After the dance I head back to the bar and Casey passes me a shot of vodka and a strawberry margarita. As she's sliding them over I hear a voice I've been dreading like crazy.


	4. Chapter 4

**An: Hey sorry about all the really short chapters I'm definitely going to start making them longer. On****Microsoft word****they seem so long and I start feeling like I'm rambling but then on fanfic they're really short so I'm going to try and fix that. Well here's the next chapter, please R&R I definitely could use any ideas**

"Rose? Is that you? Oh my gosh!" said my ex-bestfriend Lissa.

Before turning around I took the shot and grabbed my margarita because I had a feeling I was going to need it. Finally I turned around, she looked pretty much the same just a little older and was wearing a light green mini dress that went to her knees.

"Hey Lissa"

"Wow you look stunning! So is this where you've been the whole time?"

"Mostly yea." As much as I hated to admit it I have missed her a lot, but she really hurt me so I wasn't just going to let her come back and be my 'best friend' again pretending she didn't hurt me.

"Rose I'm so sorry I was so horrible to you after you left Christian explained everything but when I went to apologize you were already gone"

"Liss I accept your apology and I do honestly believe you are sorry but I just don't know if I can forgive you right now, maybe some day but you hurt me deeply and I just can't forget about it that easily"

"Its ok Rose I understand" she said with pain in her eyes.

'_**Good let her feel some of the pain I've felt all these years'**___the selfish part of me thought, while the other part of me thought about how bad I feel about causing her this pain.

I was about to say something but was interrupted by Jo.

"Hey posie go sing me a song, the people are requesting you left and right"

"I'll be back" I told Lissa as I walked towards the stage.

Someone had requested a song called 'Goodbye' one of the songs I wrote and performed often. _**Wow guess there's some people having some problems too**_ I thought.

"Hey everyone if you don't already know my name is Rose. Normally I'd be behind the bar but tonights special so I might be up here frequently throughout the night. Well breaking karaoke tradition I'm gonna sing a song that someone requested that I wrote a long long time ago before I moved here" I said emphasizing the long time ago, because I most definitely don't want HIM to think I'm singing it because he's here.

In the middle of my introduction I found a set of deep brown eyes I had been dreading seeing. Damn him! I quickly looked away and began singing.

"_The hope is fading from my lips  
When I kiss you with goodbye  
Now when you let go of our last embrace  
Please don't look me in the eye  
Secret's out, that I just might care about you  
You broke me, you're leaving  
There's nothing I can do_

My eyes wandered over to where he was and for a brief second we made eye contact and he had his guardian mask on like normal but I could just faintly see some emotion playing in his eyes, so I quickly looked away.

_I'll find a way to close the door  
I want to say so much more but  
I found you once, you're lost again  
Two thousand miles took what could have been_

_I don't want to  
Won't let myself  
I have to realize  
This might be  
This could be  
This is goodbye  
This is goodbye_

_The smile fate was wearing, slowly die  
Minutes turn to months  
Silence of the phone just mocks my cry  
When I see that you've moved on  
Secret's out that I did care about you  
You broke me, you left me  
There was nothing I could do_

_I'll find a way to close the door  
I want to say so much more but  
I found you once, you're lost again  
Two thousand miles took what could have been_

_I don't want to  
Won't let myself  
I have to realize  
This might be  
This could be  
This is goodbye_

_Do I ever cross your mind?  
Cause you're on mine all the time  
I can believe how unfair life is sometimes_

_Find a way to close the door  
And be okay with nothing more but  
Found you once, you're lost again  
Two thousand miles took what could have been_

_I don't want to  
Won't let myself  
I have to realize  
This might be  
This could be  
This is goodbye  
This is goodbye_

_The hope is fading from my lips_

As I finished the crowd started clapping and yelling for more so I agreed on one more for now. I decided to keep it up beat and do one about just having fun so I called Casey up to come sing with me and take a break.

"hey everyone this is my really awesome friend casey and she's gonna help me out with this one"

(**An: underlined is Casey and italics is Rose both in bold is both)**

_hot and dangerous_

_if your one us then roll with us_

'Cause we make the hipsters fall in love  
And we've got our hot-pants on and up  
_And yes of course we does, we running this town just like a club_  
_And no, you don't wanna mess with us_  
Got Jesus on my necklace

_I've got that glitter on my eyes  
Stockings ripped all up the side  
Looking sick and sexyfied  
So let's go-o-o_ (Let's go!)

_[Chorus:]_  
_**Tonight we're going har har-har ha-ha-hard  
Just like the world is our our-our our-our-ours  
We're tearin' it apart part-part pa-pa-part  
You know we're superstars, we are who we are!  
We're dancing like we're dum dum-dum dum-dum-dumb  
Our bodies go num num-num num-num-numb  
We'll be forever youn youn-youn youn-youn-young  
You know we're superstars, we are who we are!**_  
  
DJ turn it up  
It's about damn time to live it up  
I'm so sick of being so serious  
It's making my brain delirious!  
I'm just talkin' truth

_I'm telling you 'bout the shit we do  
We're sellin' our clothes, sleepin' in cars  
Dressin' it down, hittin' on dudes_ (HARD!)

I've got that glitter on my eyes  
Stockings ripped all up the side  
Looking sick and sexyfied  
So let's go-o-o _(Let's go!)_

_[Chorus:]_  
_**Tonight we're going har har-har ha-ha-hard  
Just like the world is our our-our our-our-ours  
We're tearin' it apart part-part pa-pa-part  
You know we're superstars, we are who we are!  
We're dancing like we're dum dum-dum dum-dum-dumb  
Our bodies go num num-num num-num-numb  
We'll be forever youn youn-youn youn-youn-young  
You know we're superstars, we are who we are!**_

_DJ turn it up_ (up up up up up up)  
DJ turn it up_(up up up up up up_)  
_DJ turn it up_ (up up up up up up)  
DJ turn it up (_up up up up up up uuuup_)

_[Chorus:]_  
_**Tonight we're going har har-har ha-ha-hard  
Just like the world is our our-our our-our-ours  
We're tearin' it apart part-part pa-pa-part  
You know we're superstars, we are who we are!  
We're dancing like we're dum dum-dum dum-dum-dumb  
Our bodies go num num-num num-num-numb  
We'll be forever youn youn-youn youn-youn-young  
You know we're superstars, we are who we are!**_

The whole time we were singing we were running around the stage dancing and dancing with each other so when we were finished we were both out of breath so we hurried off to make sure no one asked us to sing again just yet.

The whole time on stage and while walking off I could feel a pair of eyes burning into me but I refused to turn and acknowledge them. I headed off to get some drinks and she went out back to finish her break.

"well well if it isn't little rosie after all these years!"

I turned and saw one of the few people I was actually excited about seeing.

"Christian! Hey how are you?" I asked while hugging him.

"I'm good. How have you been?"

"Ok. I'm taking it y'all are still together and I didn't screw things up to bad?" I asked.

"OMG Rosie did you just say y'all? Wow you've been in Texas entirely too long! And yes we are still together, we're actually getting married"

"Yea the language has kinda got to me down here, who knew I'd turn into such a southerner. Haha. and wow married guess I shouldn't be too surprised I knew you were made for each other."

He raised his eyebrows at me as if saying 'really rose?'

"I really did I just didn't ever want to admit it."

"Whatever. How long have you been in Texas?" he said Texas with a disgusted look on his face.

"Hey don't make that face Texas isn't all that bad, it's really pretty here"

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Ok fine maybe its just the guys that are pretty, pretty good to look at"

"That sounds better"

"I've been here about 4 years more or less."

"She's really missed you you know. Broke her heart when she found out you had left, it's still not quite mended."

"I know at first I kept getting messages from her through the bond but then I learned how to block her unless I wanted to go into her head, which I do once a month long enough to take the darkness from her."

About that time I heard a throat clear and turned around, unvoluntarily I took a sharp intake of breath. There stood Lissa, Tasha, and HIM,( Adrian and Aria were still dancing). He still looked like a god after all these years the only difference was his hair was a little longer.

"Rose you were really good up there!" squealed Lissa.

"Thanks, I've been practicing."

"Come on Rose, come sit with us and catch up!" I guess she didn't notice the tension between Tasha, Dim..Dimitri, and I, seeing as Tasha was glaring at me and he was just trying to avoid looking at me and was instead looking at the floor.

"yea sure, let me get some drinks."

"Yo Teddy!" I yelled at him not saying the bear part because I didn't want him to lose his rep haha. He came over and gave me a look secretly asking me if I was ok. I gave a brief nod. "I want the yearly Rose special!"

"are you sure about that? Remember last year?"

"haha nope!" I said and burst out laughing.

"It's your birthday so why not" he said laughing as well.

"Aww Rosie it's your birthday?" asked Christian

"Omg I'm such a ditz! Of course It is. I'm so so sorry I forgot to tell you I always remember even with you…gone I never forget I guess with the shock of seeing you it slipped my forgive me!" Lissa said all in the same breath…some things never change.

"Of course I forgive you don't worry I don't really expect you to remember after 4 years!"

"How could I forget we are..were best friends since kindergarten!"

At the mention of 'were' her face fell and she looked sad.

"Happy Birthday Rose" Tasha sad with fake enthusiasm. _**'Bitch'**_ I thought.

"Thanks Tasha"

"Happy birthday rose" said Dimitri for the first time actually looking at me.

"Thanks Guardian Belikov" he looked a little pained at me being so formal but oh well.

"oh and firefly don't ever call me rosie again!"

"aw there's the rosie I know and love"

"Firefly I'm warning you!"

"Ok Rosie"

About that point I slapped him upside the back of his head.

"Ow!"

"She did warn you" interjected Lissa.

"Here's your drink Posie" said Jo handing me another strawberry margarita and laying out a _Jägerbomb, buttery nipple, and a shot of vodka with a lemon._

_"oh y'all want anything?" I asked turning around, but they all looked like they were waiting on something. "What?"_

_"You just hit Christian for calling you Rosie but just let him call you Posie we were waiting on you to hit him or something" explained Lissa._

_"Oh yea he's the only one allowed to call me that."_

_"What makes him so special?" smarted Christian._

_To be honest that question really kind of pissed me off. What business was it to them?_

_"That's none of your concern" I said. It was probably harsh but still they kind of deserved it, well Christian really didn't but if I told him it'd tell them too._

_"Oh Sorry." He said and looked at me with…..sympathy. that's weird._

_"It's fine." I replied. Then everyone else wen silent and it was kind of awkward until Jo spoke._

_"Hi I'm Joseph. Y'all must be Rose's old friends"_

_"Oh yea Jo this is: Lissa, Christian, Tasha, and Guardian Belikov…Oh and here comes Adrian and Aria." I said pointing to everyone as Adrian and Aria walked over._

_"Call me Dimitri" HE said while giving me a weird look._

_"Hey Posie you going to sing anymore?"_

_"Uh duh! Don't I always but first I'm going to go do some catching up and dancing" I said with a smirk. "Let's go guys"_

_We walked back to the table and all sat down, unfortunately the only empty seat was by HIM ugh!_

_"So Rose How have you been? You seem real well off down here." Asked Tasha with a fake smile. Well two can play that game._

_"Oh I've been just grand Tasha. It's been exceptionally better since I met Jo." I said that part specially for Dimitri._

_"He seems nice are y'all dating?"_

_"That's confidential."_

_"Hey Rose want to go dance?" asked John walking over towards me._

_"Of course! How could I not want to dance with my Johnny boy! I'll be right back y'all." I said walking over to him, while walking I accidentally glanced at Dimitri and his expression looked….jealous? Oh well he left me not the other way around."_

_"How much have you had to drink Rose?" asked John_

_"Enough" I said casually "Why do you ask?"_

_"Because you never call me Johnny boy unless your drunk."_

_"Oh well I'm not quite drunk but I'm working on it!"_

_"Just don't pull a stunt like last year." He warned._

_"well I'll try not to but there's no guarantees seeing as I don't remember the stunts I pulled last year!" I said laughing._

_"Speaking of last year, Happy Birthday klutz." He said reminding me of the first time I had met him. It was my night off and I was just a little drunk and tripped and spilled my margarita all over the front of him._

_"Thanks Johnny boy!"_

_By that point we had reached the dance floor and started dancing to the song "Hot Mess" by Cobra starship. When that was over I really didn't want to go sit back down so we dance for 1 more song this one was called 'Broken' by Seether and Amy Lee. I started to sing along quietly_

_"Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away"_

_"What's wrong?" asked John_

_"Why would you say something's wrong?"_

_"Because you look like your about to cry."_

_"Oh sorry this song and this whole night brings back unwanted memories"_

_"Does it have to do anything with the guy that looks like he's going to kill me?"_

_"what are you…" I started to ask looking over my shoulder. I saw Dimitri glaring over at us but as soon as he saw me look he turned away. "Oh Yea he's most of it…..He's my ex and first love till he left me for the bitch he's sitting by."_

_"He's the biggest idiot in the world. Any man would be lucky to have you."_

_"Thank you John that means a lot to me. I've tried getting over him but it just doesn't work."_

_"Well I have an idea to help you piss him off." He said with a smirk._

_"Oh really and what would that be?" I said with a small smile._

_"What if I pretend to be your boyfriend and we can make him insanely jealous and make him regret ever leaving you."_

_"That sounds awesome but I really don't feel right using you like that"_

_"Hun you will not be using me what so ever. You'll actually be making my dreams come true! Well not really because I now only look at you as a little sister but still you get my point."_

_"Fine. You can be my pretend boyfriend." I said lying my head on his shoulder, for once feeling comfortable. "You're an amazing friend/Big brother you know that?"_

_"I know its just one of my many charms"_

_When the song was over I stepped away and he grabbed my hand._

_"Ok lets go get this over."_

_When we got to the table Tasha was glaring at me..what a surprise, and everyone else was just sitting there chatting away._

_"Hey guys I didn't really introduce y'all earlier but this is my boyfriend John."_

_Tasha about choked on her drink and Lissa and Christian introduced themselves._

_'Rose I'm so happy for you! He's so hot'__said Lissa through the bond._

_I introduced everyone else, when I got to Dimitri I was going to introduce him as Guardian Belikov again but John didn't know about guardians and stuff so I had to use his real name._

_The rest of the night passed by as uneventful as could be expected. Tasha kept glaring at me and I kept the others talking about their lives as much as possible, whenever the subject would come up on me I would give one word answers and quickly change subjects. Finally they were all about to leave and I was going to go help Jo clean up when Dimitri got a phone call._

_"That was the others checking on the hotel there's been a problem" he said glancing at John basically telling everyone else there was an attack, "We need to find somewhere else to stay"_

_"Where are we going to find a Hotel at 2 in the morning?"_

_Everyone looked at me expectantly._

_"Fine y'all can come stay at our house till you leave"_

_"Oh thank you Rose!" squealed Lissa._

_"we're just going to have to wait for Jo he has the keys."_

_While waiting John had to leave and apologized about leaving me alone with them but I told him it was fine, I think he knew I was lying._

_Finally Jo came out and I told him what happened. Me and him got in his blue 2009 corvette, and headed towards the house.__**Well this is going to be fun**__I thought._

_**An: Wow this is my longest chapter yet. I hope it was ok I tried speeding through it for you all. Well R&R please I could really use Ideas. **_

_**Songs used in this chapter- "Goodbye" and "We are Who We Are" by Ke$ha**_


	5. Chapter 5

When we got to the house I directed everyone to go find a room on the second floor, mine and Jo's rooms were both on the first floor and I really wanted to avoid them as much as possible. Once everyone went to go get settled I went in the kitchen to get a bottle of water and my sleeping pills. As I went to swallow the pills I heard the Russian accent I loved so much yet desperately wanted to avoid.

"Those really aren't good for you, you know." He said with a smirk.

"Yea well what does it matter to you? It's my body so get over it!" I knew I had to be careful because I know the reactions I have around him and I really don't want to sow any emotion around him what so ever.

"Rose can we talk?"

"I thought that's what we're doing guardian Belikov" I said with my guardian mask in place.

"That's not what I mean and you know it."

"No what I know is I don't want to talk to you now or ever again Belikov now if you'll excuse me I'm going to bed."

"Roza ple….."

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT MY NAME IS ROSE! YOU CAN CALL ME ROSE OR GUARDIAN HATHAWAY BUT NEVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN. YOU LOST THAT RIGHT WHEN YOU LEFT!" I shouted losing all control. Damn 2 minutes in the room with him was all it took to make me lose the control I've worked for years to fully master, and I had till he showed up. Damn him and his stupid accent and nicknames!

"Rose" he said emphasizing the word, "can we please talk?"

"What do you want to talk about Belikov? How apparently you are the type to 'love 'em and leave 'em? How you made me fall for you then without a second thought just up and leave for the 'best'? No we can't talk because talking would mean being around you and I really don't want to be around you plus the time for talking is over!" I said almost in a shout but not quite. As soon as I finished I turned on my heels and ran out straight to teddy bears room.

**(AN: I'm going to try a dpov but I'm not sure how good it will be so just let me know if you like it or not)**

**DPOV:**

I watched her walk out of the kitchen and felt my heart break just a little bit more. I had wanted to tell her that I still loved her and regret ever leaving her. I thought my leaving would help her out to become the amazing guardian I knew she could be, instead it did just the opposite.

About a month after leaving I got a call telling me Rose was long gone and that nobody knew where she was. I'm still furious that nobody let me know about it the day it happened, maybe then I could have found her a lot sooner.

I tried searching for her for a while once I was told but by then she was long gone and I knew if she didn't want to be found she wouldn't. hell it took guardians two years to find her when she was 15, at 18 she was a lot more skilled and wiser.

I just about died when they had told me she left, and I knew it was all because of me. My heart still has never recovered from leaving her and I know it never will unless by some miracle she would take me back. But now she had John AND Joseph. I know she's not the type to actually date 2 guys at once so I'm guessing Josephs' just a really good friend, or at least that's what I'm hoping. It really hurt knowing she had moved on but it was my fault, and after all she did think I was with Tasha but that wasn't the case we had tried it but she figured out that my heart wasn't in it and realized I was in love with someone else. Even though I never told her, I'm pretty sure she knows it's Rose, especially after the way she was glaring at her all night.

I really have no idea what to do. All I know is I still love Rose more than anything in the world and I wish I could somehow let her know that, but she can't even stand being around me she said so herself. Somehow I am going to let her know my feelings and I won't stop trying until she does. I finally know where she is and I'm going to try like hell to win her back!

**RPOV:**

I went to Jo's room and grabbed my spare pajama's out of my drawer in his dresser (he had one in mine too) and went to lay down. As soon as I started towards the bed he opened his arms and I laid my head on his chest as I started to feel he sleeping meds kick in and he wrapped his arms around me. There was nothing romantic in the position we were in, it was all just a comfort/security thing. It definitely wasn't as good as being in HIS arms but with Jo I felt safe and secure, which was really silly seeing how I was the fighter, but it helped.

Ever since the 'incident' about two and a half years ago I've been having nightmares every night and so started the ritual of Jo waking up to comfort me every night, eventually we just decided to be a tad bit smarter and start off in the same room. It actually worked a little better and made the dreams a little shorter but they were still constantly there every night.

"Goodnight posie, I'll be here for you when you wake up" said Jo and I knew what he meant. He was comforting me as always knowing one of my biggest fears was that something would happen to him and I wouldn't be able to save him again.

"Goodnight teddy bear. And thank you."

"For what?"

"For always being by my side no matter how crazy I am and despite all my many problems."

"No problem posie it's what I'm here for. You're my sister and I love you there's nowhere else I'd rather be. Now try and get some rest"

"I love you too teddy bear" I said with a yawn as I drifted n to unconsciousness.

As normal, as soon as I drifted to sleep the nightmares started.

_It was just like the real day, me and Jo were leaving he bar after closing when around 20 strigoi appeared out of nowhere. I knew there was no way I could fight them all and protect Jo but I was damn sure going to try my hardest._

_"What's this a party?" I smarted off in true Rose Hathaway fashion._

_"Oh why yes it is my dear Rosemarie. A party just for you" said a voice that chilled me to the bones._

_"Victor how did you escape?"_

_"Let's just say I know some people." He said as he finally emerged from behind the crowd. What I saw should have shocked me but for some odd reason it didn't, victor had turned strigoi._

_"Well let's hope you enjoy dying, because your about to see exactly what it feels like. Maybe you should have stayed in prison after all"_

_"Ah Rosemarie, always the confident brave one even when she knows she's going o lose, you'll definitely be of use after I turn you."_

_"Like hell you will" I said as I started to attack the closest one. After a few kills I was already starting to get tired trying to fight off all these strigoi at once._

_"Enough" said Victor, "just end this now" he said to the rest of the strigoi._

_I started to fight even harder, but it just drained me even more._

_"Rose!" I hear Jo shout just as something hard hits me in the back of the head and all I see is black._

_When I woke up I was restrained to a brick wall with Jo nowhere in site. I was in there for ever when random strigoi started coming in and torturing me doing unimaginable things, I tried fighting as much as possible but it wasn't doing any good. By the time Victor finally came in I was in excruciating pain and just about ready to die. I had no time how long had passed but it felt like years. When Victor came in he had another strigoi behind him dragging Jo in by his shirt collar. "Rose Oh my gosh your ok! I didn't know…"_

_Victor cut him off with a hard kick to the stomach._

_"Shut up you'll speak when I tell you to"_

_"Leave him alone!" I shouted, "It's me you want leave him out of it! Just let him go!"_

_"Oh my dear Rosemarie if we let him go what will we use against you? I mean your little child molester left you then the princess turned against you so I can't use the. He's all I've got."_

_"What do you want from me?"_

_"Oh my dear. Of course I want to turn you."_

_"I'll never become one of you willingly!"_

_"very well then. Kill him." He said to the strigoi holding Jo. He bent down to Jo's neck and started to bite. Soon he was draining him and all I could do is scream and watch my brother die. That's just what I did I screamed like there was no tomorrow, and who knew there probably wouldn't be._

_As I was screaming could feel myself start to shake but I wasn't doing it myself it was something I couldn't control._

_"_ROSE!" screamed a voice I recognized vaguely, the voice brought a sense of comfort and my screaming started getting a little lower but didn't stop. "Posie Wake up it's just a dream, your not there anymore your alive and I'm live. Please wake up."

I started to recognize the voice and realized it was Jo waking me up, I always was really hard to wake up during my nightmares and normally wasn't very coherent in the process of waking up.

I felt his arms wrap around me as my screams quieted and turned to sobs.

"Sshhhh it's ok. I'm here for you your all right. Calm down. Everythings ok." He whispered to me while rocking me and stroking my hair.

"It wasn't me I was screaming for, it was you!" I choked out between sobs.

"I'm all right posie I'm here just like always. You'll never get rid of me even if you wanted to."

"I know I was just so scared. I couldn't stop him this time."

"Its ok it was just a dream. You saved me and nothing happened to me, that's all that matters."

About that time the door swung open, _**'aw crap'**_ I thought.


	6. Chapter 6

**I know that I said that rose works at a karaoke bar and normally you sing other peoples songs but I kind of wanted her to like write her own music and just perform it there for the people and that's why she get's requests and stuff to play certain songs but if you don't like it or even if you do your input is greatly appreciated. I just kind of wanted her to sing some songs but not on purpose so Dimitri hears them but it's not like she's purposefully singing them to him. I hope I didn't just get really confusing and if I did let me know lol. I also know Rose is acting kind of childish and she probably will some more in the next few chapters but I kind of feel Dimitri deserves it a little for the way he treated her. After all he did sleep with her then leave her and even if that's not the way it actually was if I was in her shoes that's how I'd probably see it too, just to clarify some of her actions lol. Well here's the next chapter and if you like it or if you don't please R&R and give me your opinions comments or questions.**

I looked up to see Lissa, Christian, Adrian, and Dimitri all standing there. Dimitri was of course in front looking as if there was an attack happening, which I guess with my screaming for all he knew there was one. Jo and I immediately sat up as someone turned on the lights.

"Hey guys what's up?" I asked trying and failing to seem carefree.

"Oh nothing much just trying to sleep until we heard you screaming all over the place" smarted Christian.

"Aww sorry to ruin your beauty sleep firefly, we all know you need as much of it as possible." I said trying to make a joke.

"Not as…." He started until Lissa interrupted.

"Rose what happened we heard you screaming bloody murder and you look like you've been crying."

"I had a bad dream that's all" I said trying to sound nonchalant.

"Must have been some dream" mumbled Christian.

"Yea it was a nightmare of you telling me you were moving in so I had to see your face everyday. It was horrifying!" I said with somewhat grin.

"Oh rosie don't act like that you know it'd make your day to see my handsome face everyday!"

"What did you just…." I started to say until HE interrupted.

"Rose why aren't you in your room? We checked in there first but you weren't there now I guess we know why." If I looked closely I could see a hint of jealousy in his eyes and for a minute I almost considered telling the truth but then I remembered everything.

"That is none of your concern."

"Rose..." Joseph warned

"What? I'm just telling how it is."

"Play nice Posie"

"Ha-ha rosie nice? You're delirious!" Christian said between laughter.

I reached over the side of the bed and grabbed one of my slippers and chunked it at his head.

"Don't call me Rosie!" I said

"Ow that hurt…on that note I'm going back to bed before I end up with a concussion." With that him and Lissa left going back to their room leaving Dimitri and Adrian in the doorway.

"Why you so quiet alky? I asked to Adrian

"Hey I'm not an alky and I'm quiet because someone woke me up in the middle of the night!. I'm going back to bed."

"Hey Adrian can you do me a huge favor?" I asked

"I already planned on it Little D."

"Thank you!" I called after him as he started to walk off leaving just me and Jo on the bed and Dimitri still staring in the doorway.

"Can I help you with something Guardian Belikov?" I asked in a somewhat sarcastic tone.

"No I'm just uh going to go back to bed now. Since everything seems to be ok and taken care of." He said as he gave me one last look. I could tell he didn't believe it was just a simple bad dream but he let it go and walked out but before he left his mask slipped a little and I saw something I couldn't quite make out in his eyes.

DPOV:

I jumped up in bed as I heard a blood curdling scream. _**ROZA!**_ I thought as I jumped out of bed and ran out into the hallway. While running down the hallway I heard other people coming out of their rooms but didn't turn around to fully see who it was. I ran to Roza's room but the bed was empty and looked like there was no one in it all night. I ran to Josephs' room to see if he knew where she was. When I opened the door my blood ran cold. There in the middle of the bed was my Roza and Joseph in an embrace. They jumped up as soon as we entered and someone flicked on the light.

Roza couldn't be dating two guys at the same time, could she? That's definitely not the way the Rose I know would be. There has to be some other explanation Rose definitely wouldn't be playing two guys, well at least I hope she wouldn't

"Hey guys what's up?" she asked trying and failing to seem carefree.

"Oh nothing much just trying to sleep until we heard you screaming all over the place" smarted Christian.

"Aww sorry to ruin your beauty sleep firefly, we all know you need as much of it as possible." She replied. Even though she was trying to look all cool and collected on the outside I knew something definitely had her freaked out.

"Not as…." He started until Lissa interrupted.

"Rose what happened we heard you screaming bloody murder and you look like you've been crying."

"I had a bad dream that's all" she said trying to sound like it didn't bother her but I could see different.

"Must have been some dream" mumbled Christian.

"Yea it was a nightmare of you telling me you were moving in so I had to see your face everyday. It was horrifying!" she said with a somewhat grin.

"Oh rosie don't act like that you know it'd make your day to see my handsome face everyday!"

"What did you just…." she started to say to Christian about to get on to him for calling her that so I decided to intervene and get some questions answered.

"Rose why aren't you in your room? We checked in there first but you weren't there now I guess we know why." I realized after asking that I had let my 'guardian mask', as Rose liked to call it, slip and could tell there was probably emotion showing on my face. It angered me that she was here in Joseph's arms with him consoling her instead of me, but then again it's also my fault that she's in his arms instead of mine.

"That is none of your concern."

"Rose..." Joseph warned

"What? I'm just telling how it is."

"Play nice Posie"

"Ha-ha rosie nice? You're delirious!" Christian said between laughter.

She reached over the side of the bed and grabbed one of my slippers and chunked it at his head.

"Don't call me Rosie!" she scolded him.

"Ow that hurt…on that note I'm going back to bed before I end up with a concussion." With that him and Lissa left going back to their room leaving me and Adrian in the doorway and Joseph and Rose in the bed. Just the thought of them sharing the same bed almost made me sick to my stomach, but like I said before it is my fault.

"Why you so quiet alky? She asked to Adrian. Alky? Since when did she call him that and he's not an alcoholic anymore _**maybe she'd know if she had been around more**___I thought then scolded myself.

"Hey I'm not an alky and I'm quiet because someone woke me up in the middle of the night! I'm going back to bed."

"Hey Adrian can you do me a huge favor?" She asked him. Favor? _**What does she need another boy toy?**___I thought again letting the jealousy get the best of me. Damn the things this girl does to me!

"I already planned on it Little D."

"Thank you!" she said after him. Now it was just us three left. She turned to glare at me.

"Can I help you with something Guardian Belikov?" she asked in a very sarcastic tone.

"No I'm just uh going to go back to bed now. Since everything seems to be ok and taken care of." I said giving one last wistful glance at her, our eyes made contact and I knew she wasn't as ok as she was pretending to be but I decided to let it be for now. I walked out of the room back towards mine, with a sick feeling in my gut. Even though I had a feeling her nightmare wasn't directly related to me leaving I had the oddest feeling if I would have stayed she wouldn't have them. I climbed in to bed and fell asleep dreaming of me and my Roza.

RPOV:

I fell back asleep somewhat assured knowing that Adrian was going to be waiting for me. What would I do without this boy! Or well should I say man.

"Hey Little Dhampir" he said as a beach setting appeared I looked down and saw myself in a red little summer dress. _**Smart choice**_ I thought glad he didn't put me in the usual skimpy bikini, but I guess with I'm being in love and stuff I probably won't need to worry about that anymore, thank god.

"Hey Adrian thank you so much for dream walking with me!"

"Anything for you Rose. Do you want to talk?"

"About what?" I asked trying to play ignorant.

"Oh you know your nightmare, how you're dealing with everyone being back and being at your house."

"Oh that!" I said "umm well the nightmare was just your average random nightmare." I said trying to play it off, but I could tell he didn't buy it.

"Your lying I can tell but if you don't want to talk about it you don't have to just know I'm here for you" he said reassuringly.

"I know it's just something I don't like talking about but maybe one day."

"It's ok I understand. But you didn't say anything about the other topic how are you doing with all that?"

"As good as can be expected I guess. I'm probably acting a little childish to Dimitri but it feels good"

"I probably shouldn't tell you this but he still loves you you know."

"Well he certainly has a way of showing it considering he's the one that left me. And even though I went off the map there was still ways he could have contacted me and tried to find me but he didn't and he's with Tasha now so what's it matter"

"Rose be fair if he would have tried to contact you would you have contacted him back or if he would have by some miracle found you what would you have done?" e tried reasoning but I couldn't see past my hurt to see any reason but I also didn't have a good come back so I just stayed quiet.

"And as for Tasha they're not….." he started as I woke up. I looked around trying to see the reason for my abrupt awakening but I didn't see anything except the fact that Jo was gone but I heard the shower running so I knew he was safe. I got up and started towards the kitchen. I started making coffee and was thinking over what Adrian had started to say when I heard footsteps behind me. I knew who it was as soon as I smelled his after shave.

"Wow I think hell just froze over! Rose Hathaway up before noon who knew that would ever happen!" He exclaimed trying to be funny normally I would have laughed and made a smart comment but I was trying to ignore him as much as possible.

"You know you can't ignore me forever Ro" he paused and caught himself "se. your going to have to talk to me sometime."

"As far as I am concerned Guardian Belikov, I do not have to talk to you what so ever. You are here because my friend and her fiancé are here. I have no reason to speak to you and I just flat out don't want to so if you'll excuse me" I said trying to be as diplomatic as possible. I went to leave but he blocked my path.

"Rose please don't act this way."

"What way are you talking about?" I said once again faking innocence.

"Like this. Ignoring me and pretending like we have never met, like we don't have a history and like we never meant anything to each other."

"No you don't get to come here after all these years and act like I'm the bad guy. I am not the one who left in the first place! And don't pretend like I ever meant anything to you. Apparently I was just an easy lay!"

"Don't ever say that! You know it wasn't like that!"

"Really I do? Because all I know is I gave you everything then right after you just up and left me behind like I was an unwanted piece of garbage so don't come around here pretending like I am some horrible person. Your just another fish in the sea of Douche bags!" I yelled the last part at him because it severely pissed me off that he was acting like I was the bad guy!

"And I see apparently Adrian has rubbed off on you!" he said I had been walking out of the room but at his words I stopped somewhat confused, "Don't you have a boyfriend you just introduced us all too last night? Then why were you in the arms of another guy just a few hours later?"

He somewhat looked like he regretted what he said as soon as it left his mouth but I was beyond pissed to even care if he regretted it or not.

"DO NOT GO AROUND THROWING ACCUSATIONS AROUND LIKE YOU KNOW ME DIMITRI," my voice broke a little just saying his name but it didn't stop me, "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GOES ON IN MY LIFE. MY PERSONAL LIFE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS BUT FOR YOUR INFORMATION I AM NOT A SLUT LIKE YOU ARE SO KINDLY INSINUATING. I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH EITHER ONE OF THEM!" I said before I could catch myself. _**Damn it!**_ I thought for letting that little slip up through.

Luckily enough I was saved by Lissa.

"What's going on in here? What's with all the shouting?" she asked

"Oh nothing me and Guardian Belikov were just a having a little chat" I said staring at him coldly before turning my attention towards Lissa putting an innocent smile on my face.

"Rose can I talk to you in the other room for a minute?" she asked.

"Certainly." I said with a fake smile, with a feeling I was not going to like what she wanted to talk about. We went to my room and I sat on the bed and she followed.

"What's with you and Dimitri? You used to be so close at school, now you act like you can't stand him."

"Liss what all did Christian tell you about the day I left?"

"He said that you had received some bad news and were going through a bad time so he was comforting you when I showed up, but he wouldn't tell me what happened. He said that it was up to you to tell me and that you really wanted to, but then I made you leave so you never got the chance." She said as tears started to pool in her eyes.

"Hey its ok you don't need to cry its in the past but there is some more to the story that I need to tell you and please don't get mad." I said as I began to tell her about mine and Dimitri's relationship.


	7. Chapter 7

**I DON'T OWN VAMPIRE ACADEMY OR ANY OF THE SONGS.**

"Oh my gosh! He really did that?" said Lissa. "I can't believe him!"

"Yea I know. Now you see why we no longer get along. And just now in the kitchen he pretty much insinuated I was a slut"

"Wow really? Guys can be such jerks!" she said. After I sat there letting her think things over for a minute before she looked at me with a little bit of fear, curiosity, and residual anger. "I don't want to offend you or insinuate anything so please don't be mad but can I ask you a question?"

Curious I just nodded my head.

"Umm what's the deal with you and Joseph?"

"I figured that would come up. Me and Jo….we're just really good friends. He's like a best friend/big brother. There's absolutely nothing romantic between us. We tried it but it didn't work out"

"Oh but why we're you in bed with him? Not to pry or anything I'm just curious"

"Let's just say some not so good things have happened in the past and so now we pretty much share a room for protection/comfort. It helps us both sleep better at night."

"Oh ok…I guess that makes sense." I could feel a tinge of curiosity leaking through the bond. I guess being so close and not paying attention my barriers are coming down a little and honestly it felt weird, as if we had just gotten the bond all over again.

Before I could say anything I heard Jo shouting for me.

"Posie where are you? Casey's on the phone for you!"

"In here teddy!" I hollered back. In a few seconds he came in and handed me the phone.

"Shouldn't you feel a little jealous or ashamed at the fact your girlfriends calling ME on YOUR phone?" I joked.

"Just shut up and talk." He snapped. They weren't really dating but I've been trying to hook them up for a while since they both obviously like each other they just can't seem to admit it to each other.

"Whatever….Hey Case what's up?"

"I have a huge favor to ask you and I know you've said you didn't want to do this but this once will you please do me a favor?"

"Casey your freaking me out what is it?"

"well Jason and his band have a concert tonight and their opening act bailed so we were wondering if you would fill in and maybe do a few songs? Please" Jason is Casey's brother. He's the guitarist in a band called stupefy (**An:I don't really know if there's a band called that its just a random name I came up with**) they're actually a pretty cool band and do all different types of music, I've even wrote songs for them and with them on many different occasions.

"Ugh you know I don't want to actually be a performer I just like having fun at the bar…but I guess this one time I will."

"Thank you so much! Your on at 7! Meet there in between 6 and 630. Let me call Jason and tell him you said yes! Bye see you tonight"

"Later Case." I said hanging up. I sighed and hung my head in my hands. I really don't mind performing at the bar cuz its just me messing around having fun with a bunch of drunk people, but I really don't like the idea of performing at an actual concert, especially because most likely Lissa will want to go so everyone else will follow. That means they're all going to hear my songs that I never meant for them to hear.

Lissa sensing something was wrong came over and put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Yeo apparently I'm going to be an opening act for Caseys' brother. Jasons', band."

"OMG that's great why do you seem so depressed bout it?"

"I really don't care for the idea of being an actual performer."

"Oh."

"Yea well I'm going to go inform Jo that he's not working tonight..I suppose you'll want to come too?"

"Of course!"

"K well I'm going to go tell Jo and get ready." I said walking out the door. I found Jo and everyone else in the kitchen eating breakfast.

"Who cooked?"

"I did" said Christian.

"well in that case I'll stick to a muffin." I half joked grabbing one out of the box. Truth was I just really didn't have an appetite these days so I had to force myself to eat once or twice everyday. I know it's unhealthy but I just can't force myself to eat too much when I'm not hungry.

"Hey now I'm a good cook!" he defended himself.

"I saw you in cooking class don't try to fool me!" I said with a smirk.

"Fine whatever don't eat my food but don't come crying to me when everyone else is talking about how awesome my food is!" he replied smiling.

"Don't worry I won't" I said still smirking. "now if you don't mind I'm going to go hop in the shower…..oh and by the way Teddy you might want to call Nicole to manage tonight."

"Oh and why's that?" he questioned.

"Because I'm opening for Jasons' band tonight and yall are coming with me."

"Really? How'd she manage that?"

"I'm still not quite sure." I said with a grin and went to the bathroom.

After I got out of the shower I found Jo sitting in the spare living room by himself.

"hey why so lonesome?" I asked.

"You seem like your in a good mood considering."

"Yea well I'm trying to be a bit more positive." I said "hey I wrote a new song a while back ago that I'm thinking about performing tonight will you listen and tell me if its good?"

"Why of course it'd be my pleasure ma'am" he semi teased over exaggerating his southern accent. He really does talk like a cowboy from the south but being around me he's changed up his way of talking a little, he still has a big accent but he normally doesn't say things like ma'am and darling anymore unless he's teasing me or singing along with a song.

"oh shut it hun!" I said trying my best accent. I must say my southern voice has gotten a lot better than it was when I first got here but I only use it when I'm teasing back. "Now sit and listen to me darlin'!"

I grabbed my guitar and started to play.

**"Time for revenge**

**The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and...  
I had it all, I had him right where I wanted him  
She came along, got him alone and let's hear the applause  
She took him faster than you could say "sabotage"**

**I never saw it coming, wouldn't have suspected it  
I underestimated just who I was dealing with  
She had to know the pain was beating in me like a drum  
She underestimated just who she was stealing from**

**She's not a saint  
And she's not what you think  
She's an actress, whoa  
But she's better known  
For the things that she does  
On the mattress, whoa  
Soon she's gonna find  
Stealing other people's toys  
On the playground won't  
Make you many friends  
She should keep in mind  
She should keep in mind  
There is nothing I do better than revenge**

**She looks at life like it's a party and she's on the list  
She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it  
I think her ever present frown is a little troubling  
And she thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things**

**But sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know  
Or pushing people down to get to where you wanna go  
They wouldn't teach you that in prep school so it's up to me  
But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity**

**She's not a saint  
And she's not what you think  
She's an actress, whoa  
But she's better known  
For the things that she does  
On the mattress, whoa  
Soon she's gonna find  
Stealing other people's toys  
On the playground won't  
Make you many friends  
She should keep in mind  
She should keep in mind  
There is nothing I do better than revenge**

**I'm just another thing for you  
To roll your eyes at, honey  
You might have him but haven't you heard  
I'm just another thing for you  
To roll your eyes at, honey  
You might have him but I always get the last word**

**She's not a saint  
And she's not what you think  
She's an actress, whoa  
She's better known  
For the things that she does  
On the mattress, whoa  
Soon she's gonna find  
Stealing other people's toys  
On the playground won't  
Make you many friends  
She should keep in mind  
She should keep in mind  
There is nothing I do better than revenge**

**Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?  
'cause I don't think you do.  
Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?  
I don't think you do  
I don't think you do  
Let's hear the applause  
Come on show me how much better you are (so much better, yeah)  
So you deserve some applause 'cause you're so much better  
She took him faster than you could say "sabotage""**

As I finished I heard clapping and squealing behind me and I turned to see the whole group standing infront of the door way, all clapping except Tasha (big shock there!...not haha) and Lissa ran forward and sat by me.

"Oh my gosh Rose that was so good!" she squealed then sent me a message through the bond "_Was it about Tasha?"_ and I must say it felt a little better than earlier but still was a pretty weird feeling. I just slightly nodded my head and her smile got even bigger.

"Can we preview some more little Dhampir?" asked Adrian

"Oh yea can we please?" asked Liss.

"I guess" I said giving in knowing she wouldn't have left me alone if I didn't. "What song should I do Teddy?"

"Hmmmm I think you should do 'Liar, Liar" and then one happier song"

"Sounds good to me" I said giving him a questioning look about why he chose that one since he knows the story about it. He just smirked and shrugged his shoulders. "Well here goes 'Liar, Liar.'

**"You said I was your everything,  
You said I was the one,  
You played me like a radio,  
You use to love that I had no shame.**

**Pour my pain into words,  
Hold my hand to the flame.**

**Tell me you'll love me like a star  
Tell me you'll want me wherever you are,  
Tell me you'll breathe me until your last breath.  
Liar, liar, oh, liar, liar.**

**Bit by bit I feel the draft,  
Just sit back and watch it burn,  
Hold your ice up to my veins,  
Call out, call out my name**

**Tell me you'll love me like a star,  
Tell me you'll want me wherever you are,  
Tell me you'll breathe me until your last breath.  
Liar, liar,  
Oh, liar, liar, liar, liar, oh, liar, liar**

**Tell me you'll love me like a star  
Tell me you'll want me wherever you are,  
Tell me you'll breathe me until your last breath.  
Liar, liar, oh, liar, liar.**

**Liar, liar."**

As I finished everyone was kinda shocked for a second then they slowly came around and slowly clapped.

_Wow Rose I'm guessing that one was Dimitri's?_ questioned Lissa in my head.

"Yep" I said out loud not realizing that I had.

"Yep what?" questioned Christian.

"Oh sorry just thinking out loud" I said trying to cover myself. No one looked like they believed me but they let it slide.

"Ok now to lighten the mood I'll do one more but its more up beat its still about relationships and its not really about anyone or anything particular just a random song that popped in my head. Please don't laugh too hard when you hear it though."

"Why would we laugh?" asked Christian.

"Oh you 'll see" answered Jo for me.

**"I'm waitin' on the sun to set cause yesterday aint over yet  
I started smoking cigarettes there's nothing else to do I guess  
Dusty roads aint made for walking, spinning tires aint made for stoppin'  
I'm giving up on love cause love's given up on me**

**I gave it everything I had and everything I got was bad  
Life aint hard but it's too long to live it like some country song  
Trade the truth in for a lie, cheating really aint a crime  
I'm giving up on love cause love's given up on me**

**Forget your high society, I'm soakin' it in Kerosene  
Light 'em up and watch them burn, teach them what they need to learn HA!  
Dirty hands aint made for shakin', aint a rule that aint worth breakin'  
Well I'm giving up on love cause love's given up on me**

**Now I don't hate the one who left  
You can't hate someone who's dead  
He's out there holding on to someone, I'm holding up my smoking gun  
I'll find somewhere to lay my blame the day she changes her last name  
Well I'm giving up on love cause love's given up on me  
Well I'm giving up on love HEY love's given up on me"**

By the time I finished Adrian and Christian looked ready to burst and even Dimitri and Lissa had smiles on their faces. After a few seconds Adrian and Chris just couldn't contain it anymore and died laughing and Lissa started to lightly laugh. Aria had a grin but you could tell she didn't understand all of why they were laughing.

"Wow Texas has really grown on you hasn't it?" asked Lissa.

"I guess you could say that."

"Who knew our little Rosie would one day write country songs!" said Christian before he began laughing again.

"Well I learned to appreciate it more, some of it still annoys me but not all of its bad." I replied.

"Told ya so." Smarted Dimitri. In return I stuck my tongue out at him playing around until I realized what I was doing and quickly sobered up and looked away.

The rest of the day we just hung out around the house until it was time for me to go meet up with the band. When I got back there they had a nice little surprise for me.

"So before you hate me Jason made me do it!" said Casey as I walked up.

"What are you talking about Case?" I questioned.

"Well there really was no opening band that bailed we just said that so you'd agree to come. The real idea is that you could open up by performing a few of your own songs, and then sing with Jason and the band because their singer quit last week."

"What you want me to perform for the whole concert I just figured I could do 1 or 2 songs!"

"I know I'm sorry but they really need a singer tonight and you're an amazing singer plus you've either wrote or co-wrote at least half their songs and the ones you didn't you still know"

"Fine but just just this once! And don't trick me like this again." I said even though I wasn't really mad I just don't like suprises.

"I promise never again and thank you so much! Your going to love erforming I just know it!" she squealed.

_**Man this is going to be an interesting night.**_ I thought to myself.

**AN: sorry about ending it right there I had every intention of continuing through the concert but I just broke my thumb and can't type anymore plus my pain meds are making me sleepy. Well let me know what you think and I promise I'll try to write again in the next few days!**

**Songs used- "Better Than Revenge" by Taylor Swift "Liar Liar" by Alexs Johnson (Instant Star soundtracks) "Kerosene" by Miranda Lambert**


	8. Chapter 8

**Well this chapter has been hard to write but the rest shouldn't be that hard. This on is going to be a kind of 2 part chapter because I really wanted to put up a chapter for you all so I split it up but this one still is pretty long. Again I'm so sorry for not having it up a lot sooner but this one is really long so please R&R and let me know what you think. Thanks everyone for the reviews, comments, and suggestions!**

About 30 minutes before I had to go on stage Jo had split from the crowd so I went to look for him. I finally found him in one of the dressing rooms laying on the couch, I felt bad because he looked tired and I knew it's because of me.

"Hey Teddy bear" I said walking over lifting his head up sitting down and putting it back down on my lap.

"What do you want posie?" he said with a knowing grin.

"Why whatever do you mean?" I asked innocently in a mocking southern accent.

"How about you never do that again like I say every time you do that and I know that tone in your voice your up to something."

"What tone?" I asked still playing innocent. "Can't I just come in here to check on my big bro?"

"Rose" he said knowing I was lying.

"Fine you caught me. I have a huge favor to ask you."

"Mhmm" he said telling me to continue.

"Well you know I'm really uneasy about tonight….well I think I've fond a way to cure some of the uneasiness…." I said nervous about what I was about to ask him.

"Really and what would that be? And why do I feel I'm not going to like this?"

"Well you see this really awesome, and amazing friend of mine wrote a song with me a while back and no one else has ever heard it, including the band, and I cant go sing it by myself so maybe that person could comesingitwithme" I finished the last bit with all the words running together. As I was talking he had sat up.

"Posie, you know I don't sing in public!" he exclaimed standing up.

"I know but would you do it for me just this one time?" I asked giving him the look no guy can resist walking towards him.

"You're dangerous you know that?" he said with a smirk. Slowly a grin spread across my face.

"Was that a yes?"

"Well I did write most of it and who could say no to you?"

"YAY!" I shouted jumping up giving him a hug.

In the middle of the hug the door opened so I turned around to see who it was not moving my arms. When I saw who it was I immediately pulled my arms down and turned to face them at the door.

Standing there was Casey, Lissa, and Dimitri.

"Hey." I said nonchalant.

"Sorry to interrupt"

"It's cool I was just checking to see if I have it, I do" I said winking at Casey and smiling.

"Have what?" asked Dimitri clueless.

"My amazing charm and awesome persuasion" I said winking at Jo this time.

"Oh was that what that was?" he asked playfully knowin I only said that because Dimitri was there.

"Oh yea." I said semi-seductively.

"Well in that case I change my mind." He said with a serious face.

"NO you don't mister you already said yes!"

"I'm just kidding Posie, I'll do it but only because it's you."

"Thank you!" I said hugging him again.

Someone cleared their throat.

"Oh sorry what'd you all need?"

"We came to tell you you're on in 15." Said Liss looking at her watch.

"K. come on Teddy, Liss," I said pulling them through the door, but then I stopped turned around and whispered in Casey's ear, "Don't worry he's still yours I'm not moving in on him."

"Thanks I was really worried about that" she said laughing.

"No problem just thought I'd let you know." I said smirking then walked out with Casey going the other way towards the sound booth in front of the stage where she always sat.

"Posie what was that about?" asked Jo as we started walking. I could hear the curiosity in his voice and laughed.

"Just letting her know I'm not moving in on her man."

"Oh and who's that man again?"

"No one of importance" I said toying with him, "just some awesome totally hot guy from the bar!"

"Oh really and what's this hot sexy guys name?" he asked.

"I never said sexy but I guess that's true too. Hmm I don't remember it was like Joseph or Joey or Jim oh right it was Josiah!" I said winking at him.

"Oh I didn't know you two were dating." Said Lissa.

"oh then why did you…?" she questioned confused.

"Long story short they like each other but they won't do anything about it." In reality I knew why they wouldn't do anything about it, me, but I told tem it was stupid, but that's for another time.

"Well if you like each other why don't you do anything about it?" she questioned Jo, but I answered for him.

"Liss you of all people should know things are never that simple and easy." I said and couldn't help but glance at Dimitri. He was staring at me with a look I couldn't make-out before I hurriedly looked away.

"yea true." Said Liss. I could feel sympathy coming through the bond so I looked at her and gave a reassuring smile saying I was ok.

When we finally reached backstage I still had 10 minutes s I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror trying not to convince myself to just walk out. I stood there for so long I forgot what time it was, so pretty soon I heard a knock.

"Come in." I said but regretted it as soon as I saw who it was. "What do you want Dimitri?"

"Your on in 3."

"Great." I mumbled looking in the sink,

"Why'd you agree to do this if you don't want to?"

"Long story short it's a favor to a friend"

"Oh well relax you have a beautiful voice."

"Thanks comrade but that's not what I'm worried about." Then I realized what I said and flinched and saw him get a pained expression but also saw excitement in his eyes.

"Oh then what is?" he said trying to ignore my slip up.

"You'll see" I said walking out the door.

"1 minute" said Jason.

"k can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Yea." He said as I pulled him to the side and explained the plan to him.

"15 Seconds" said the stage manager

"Sounds good" said Jason as we walked by to the side stage.

"Hey you'll do great Posie screw everyone else" Said Jo with a reassuring smile and a wink.

"Thanks I might need that advice." I said with a laugh. "Here goes nothing."

I walked on stage and saw the crowd. For a minute my heart stopped and I panicked but luckily I've been center of attention enough to know how to work a crowd.

"Hey I'm Rose, I'm the opening act/singer for the night. First I'd like to say thanks for coming and I hope you all enjoy tonight's' show. I'm going to mix it up a lot because I really didn't have much time to prepare. I hope you all don't mind the first song is called 'I just want to run' hope you like it.

**I just wanna run, hide it away  
Run because they're chasing me down  
I just wanna run, throw it away  
Run before they're finding me out  
I just wanna run**

**I just wanna run  
I'm out here all alone  
I try to call your house  
Can't reach you on the phone  
I'll gather up the nerve  
I'm packing up my bag  
It's more than you deserve  
Don't treat me like a drag**

**I'm feelin' like I keep on talking  
I'm repeating  
Myself, my words lost all meaning  
I keep talking  
I repeat myself**

**I just wanna run, hide it away  
Run because they're chasing me down  
I just wanna run, throw it away  
Run before they're finding me out  
I just wanna run (run, run, run)  
I just wanna run (run, run, run)**

**Like a game of chess  
I predict your move  
I think I know you better  
Better than you do  
I'm sick of feeling cheap  
Cheated and abused  
Sick of losing sleep  
Thinking about you**

**I'm feelin' like I keep on talking  
I'm repeating  
Myself, my words lost all meaning  
I keep talking  
I repeat myself  
I just wanna run, hide it away  
Run because they're chasing me down  
I just wanna run, throw it away  
Run before they're finding me out  
I just wanna run (run, run, run)  
I just wanna run (run, run, run**

The whole time I was running around trying to get the crowd pumped up, then when it ended they all clapped.

"Thanks everyone, now this songs not really true because I never believed in fairy tales but one man had me starting to believe in them…."

(first part is spoken to the music)

**You know the story  
You read the books  
Boy meets girl  
Then they fall forever in love  
But I know better  
So here goes a tale  
Of the realest of the real  
Listen**

**Now once upon a time in a small world  
It was everything that I dreamed of  
He was my gem and I was his pearl  
Nothing could come between us  
A prince charming to call my own  
Until the day that he broke my heart  
And left me wonderin all alone  
Pickin my mind and soul apart**

**Used to believe in love (I used to believe in love)  
Used to believe in fairy tales (In fairy tales)  
Since my heart's been crushed (It's been crushed)  
I don't believe in much, I need help (No no no no no)  
Don't know which way to turn  
Figure it out for myself  
I've just started to learn (La da da dee, oh)  
There's no such thing as fairy tales**

I kept singing but when I said no such thing as fairy tales I couldn't help but glance at Dimitri, he looked pained but I just glanced away. He should feel bad its his fault! I finished and lissa was sending sympathy to me through the bond so I glance over and gave her a small smile making sure not to look at him. This time I didn't introduce the song or anything just went straight into it. I felt the energy come up when the music started playing so I started working the crowd jumping, clapping, andwhatever else

**Let me hear you say hey hey hey  
Alright  
Now let me hear you say hey hey ho**

the crowd was loving it and started clapping and dancing while I kept singing and it put me on cloud nine that they loved all my songs so far.

**Where are the hopes, where are the dreams  
My Cinderella story scene  
When do you think they'll finally see**

**That you're not not not gonna get any better  
You won't won't won't you won't get rid of me never  
Like it or not, even though she's a lot like me  
We're not the same  
And yeah yeah yeah I'm a lot to handle  
You don't know trouble, I'm a hell of a scandal  
Me, I'm a scene, I'm a drama queen  
I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen**

I kept singing it putting all my energy into it trying my hardest not to look at HIM but I could feel his stare digging into me. When I was done I decided it was time to show Jo what I had up my sleeve.

"so I'm glad yall are all enjoying this but I want to bring a dear friend of mine up here to sing a song or two with me, so Joseph will you please come join me?"

He walked up but he had caught on and gave me a pointed look but made sure the crowd didn't see it.

"Hey everyone my names Joseph, I see yall are loving my little sis up here so I hope I don't ruin things" he said with a grin and the crowd laughed with him "Now my darling rose what song or songs are we singing?" he questioned.

I just grinned and had the band start up. I decided to do a song we wrote when I first decided to move in with him. **(AN: I'm skipping a line or two in this song because in this story its not realy a romantic lover song, just a friend in need.)**

_**(**__Rose is italics__**,**___**Jo is bold**_**, both is bold italics)**_

**(Rose)**

_Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.  
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore._

**(Both)**

_**It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.  
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.  
And I don't know how I can do without.  
I just need you now.**_

When we wrote this I had just decided to move in because things weren't working out on my own but me and Jo had gotten really close, and the night before I had seen a group that looked oddly like the gang from the academy, and to top it off it was the first time Adrian had dream walked with me since I had left so I was feeling lonely and ended up calling him in the middle of the night after downing a few shots hadn't helped. It was originally just my song but tonight I decided a duet would be better.

**(Jo)**

**Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.  
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.  
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?  
For me it happens all the time.**

_**(Both)  
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.  
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.  
And I don't know how I can do without.**_**  
**_**I just need you now.**_

As the song was playing we looked at each other the whole time, I'm pretty sure we were giving out the wrong impression but I really didn't care. When the song was done the crowd started clapping and we looked away finally.

"Glad y'all liked that one. I know it's one of my favorites! This next one a very special friend wrote with me" I said glancing at Jo "so I hope y'all love this one as much as me and I hoe y'all have someone in your life that you can relate this song to whether it be a friend, family member, spouse, kid or anyone else because when you find people in this world that are that special then you know you'll make it through anything no matter how hard it is." I said thinking about all me and Jo had been through. Even though I have never gotten over losing Lissa, and Dimitri and the rest of the gang, Jo helped me realize it's not the end of the world and helped me get on with my life, not to mention how much he's been there for me in many other situations. The music started and I glanced over and saw Lissa had tears in her eyes, she gets so emotional sometimes, but who can blame her its part of what makes her Lissa!

_(Rose)_

_It's like a storm  
That cuts a path  
It breaks your will  
It feels like that_

**(Jo)  
You think you're lost  
But you're not lost on your own  
you're not alone**

_**(Both)  
I will stand by you  
I will help you through  
When you've done all you can do  
If you can't cope  
I will dry your eyes  
I will fight your fight  
I will hold you tight  
And I won't let go**_

**(Jo)  
It hurts my heart  
To see you cry  
I know it's dark  
This part of life**

_(Rose)_

_Oh it finds us all  
And we're too small  
To stop the rain  
Oh but when it rains_

_**(Both)**_

_**I will stand by you  
I will help you through  
When you've done all you can do  
And you can't cope  
I will dry your eyes  
I will fight your fight  
I will hold you tight**_**  
**_**  
(Both but switching lines)**_

_And I won't let you fall_**  
Don't be afraid to fall  
I'm right here to catch you  
**_I won't let you down_**  
It won't get you down  
**_you're gonna make it_**  
Yeah I know you can make it**

**(Both)**

_**Cause I will stand by you  
I will help you through  
When you've done all you can do  
And you can't cope  
And I will dry your eyes  
I will fight your fight  
I will hold you tight  
And I won't let go**_**  
**_Oh I'm gonna hold you_**  
**_**And I won't let go  
Won't let you go  
No I won't**_

By the end of the song I had tears in my eyes thinking about all the things he had done for me and how much I screwed up his life but he doesn't see it that way. The whole reason he refuses to date anyone is because of me. He refuses to leave me alone for longer than 30 minutes because he knows any longer than that I freak out, it didn't used to be that way but after things at school and then the thing a few months ago, I have some separation anxiety. Because of me he's put his life on halt but he doesn't seem to mind it and every time I try to tell him to do things he refuses. I'll never know what I did to get an amazing friend/big brother like him.

"_Oh my gosh rose that was amazing you two really are close!"_sent Lissa through the bond**.**That pulled me out of my thoughts and I turned and faced her and nodded my head in a way to answer her. I happened to look towards Dimitri and saw a bunch of emotions. There was some jealousy, compassion, and a little…..sympathy? I wasn't quite for sure but there were some emotions I couldn't quite decipher.

**AN: songs in this chapter were:**

'**I just want to run'- Downtown Friction**

'**Fairytale'- Jojo**

'**Best Damn thing'- Avril Lavigne**

'**Need You Now'- Lady Antebellum**

'**I Won't Let Go'- Rascal Flatts**


	9. Chapter 8 pt2

**I've noticed that I have a few mix-ups I the chapters so I figured I'd settle that now and if I miss any let me know:**

**In the last chapter talking about Casey's 'Boyfriend' I mixed it up and said his name was Josiah on accident, so I'm sorry about that I know its not a huge mistake but it bothered me so I had to correct it.**

**Rose never told Adrian where she was but the day that they all reunited he had called her and said they were going to some club in Austin he had no idea she was there.**

**And a really big one is I've mixed up when rose got kidnapped like 3 times now so to set it straight rose and Jo were kidnapped almost 2 years ago….more details on that later in the story though and just a hint that's what started her nightmares and anxieties about being alone and what not.**

**Well in this chapter I've decided to do different point of views so let me know how you like them. As always pleas R&R, and any ideas, suggestions(music or plot), or anything you want to add are always welcome.**

**DPOV:**

30 minutes before the concert started Roza disappeared and a big part of me wanted to follow after her and try to talk to her, but I knew right now wasn't the right time. I really just wanted to chase after her and kiss her like the world was ending, but she'd probably just get mad and punch me, which I do kind of deserve I was the one who left and broke her heart. I still remember that day vividly it was the day I made the biggest mistake of my life. The sad part is she won't listen to me long enough for me to tell her that me and tasha aren't even together. We tried it for a little while but she could tell my heart wasn't in it. At first she got pissed when I told her I was in love with someone else but then when I told her the full story she seemed ok with it and actually tried to get me to go back to Roza but when I tried I had found out she had ran away.

When I found out she had left the day I told her I was leaving I instantly felt horrible. It was all my fault she had left her friends, her life, and her future. It was my fault that the princess was heartbroken because her best friend had left without even saying goodbye, along with all her other friends. My fault she had left the academy and didn't graduate even though she was honestly the best novices I've ever seen, hell she was better than 99% of the guardians and she hadn't even graduated yet**.**Then I got pissed no one had told me until almost 2 months afer she left. Maybe if they would have old me the day she left I could've found her again and brought her back. But with her 'just being a novice' nobody except her friends and Alberta actually cared enough to look for her, but they couldn't do much seeing as they were all students and Alberta had to do her job.

"Can someone go find Rose? She's on in 15"

"I'll go" I instantly volunteered.

"No I'll go" said the princess giving me a sharp look, Rose must have told her about us.

"Well I have a good idea of where she is and I'm heading that way so follow me." Said Roses' friend Casey? I really couldn't quite remember her name for some reason.

When we got to one of the dressing rooms we could hear talking and then a loud 'YAY' that was definitely from Rose. Casey opened the door to reveal Joseph and my Roza in a tight embrace. She turned around and I noticed she didn't move her arms until she saw who it was. I instantly was jealous that she had such a close relationship with this guy that yet hardly even looks at me. The rational part of me was glad she had someone who cared for her that much and was happy to see she wasnt alone but the other part of me was pissed that I left her and wasn't the one she hugged and slept with every night.

"Hey" she said acting as if that wasn't kind of awkward,

"Sorry to interrupt" said Casey with a slight smirk.

"It's cool I was just checking to see if I have it, I do" she said winking. Ugh why did I come back here? Oh yea because I was hoping to maybe talk to her for a few seconds looks like that's not going to happen

"Have what?" I asked.

"My amazing charm and awesome persuasion" she said winking at Jo this time, this jealousy stuff was getting really annoying. I tuned the rest of their little conversation out until they hugged again.

I cleared my throat hoping they'd get the hint, she did. She turned back around to face us.

"Oh sorry what'd you all need?"

"We came to tell you you're on in 15." Said the princess looking at her watch.

"K. come on Teddy, Liss," she said pulling them through the door, but then she stopped and whispered in Casey's ear.

"Thanks I was really worried about that" Casey said laughing.

"No problem just thought I'd let you know." She said with a smirk, which was never a good thing, it usually meant se was up to something. She resumed pulling Jo and the princess down the hallway and I followed while Casey went the opposite way.

"Posie what was that about?" asked Jo as we started walking. Posie? Really Roza hated nicknames like that, in fact she'd punch any person that would even attempt to change up her name like that. Her and Jo must be extremely close for him to be able to call her that and keep his head, which made me extremely curious to find out whats going on with them and how they got so close.

"Just letting her know I'm not moving in on her man." She laughed.

"Oh and who's that man again?" he asked

"No one of importance just some awesome totally hot guy from the bar!" she said. I could tell she was just kidding but it still hurt me to hear her say that about another man.

"Oh really and what's this hot sexy guys name?" he asked.

"I never said sexy but I guess that's true too. Hmm I don't remember it was like Josiah or Joey or Jim oh right it was Joseph!" she said. God the things this woman did to me, in all my life I've never been jealous until I met Roza. Then a thought hit me, if her joking was making me this jealous no wonder she hated me. I could only imagine how she felt thinking that I was in a relationship with Tasha, I'm surprised she hasn't killed me or Tasha yet.

"Oh I didn't know you two were dating." Said Lissa.

"We're not" said Joseph.

"oh then why did you…?" she questioned confused.

"Long story short they like each other but they won't do anything about it." It looked like there was more to the story but looking at her I could tell that's really all she'd say about it.

"Well if you like each other why don't you do anything about it?" the princess asked Joseph.

"Liss you of all people should know things are never that simple and easy." Answered Roza. I looked at her understanding what she was saying, and I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by all of our memories at the academy, the love, anger, secrecy, and hurt.

"yea true." Said the princess with a look of sympathy.

When we finally reached backstage she still had 10 minutes so she excused herself for a minute.

"Can you go get rose?" asked one of the band members, "She's on in 3"

"Sure." I replied

"Come in." she yelled through the door.

"What do you want Dimitri?" she said when she saw it was me.

"Your on in 3."

"Great." She mumbled thinking I couldn't hear her.

"Why'd you agree to do this if you don't want to?" I asked even though I had a good idea of why Roza would do something she didn't want to.

"Long story short it's a favor to a friend" she answered somewhat truthfully. I knew it had to do with one of her friends.

"Oh well relax you have a beautiful voice." I said honestly, even though beautiful wasn't quite the way to describe it, it's way better than just beautiful.

"Thanks comrade but that's not what I'm worried about." She said. When I heard her old nickname for me my mood instantly brightened. I used to say I hated that nickname but I've missed it so much since we've been apart.

"Oh then what is?" I said not mentioning her little slip-up for fear of her completely shutting down, seeing as this is the first real conversation we've had since last night.

"You'll see" she said as she walked out the door.

"Hey you'll do great Posie screw everyone else" Said Joseph as she headed towards the stage.

"Thanks I might need that advice." She said laughing, but I could tell she was still real nervous, "Here goes nothing."

When she played her first song I automatically knew it was about her leaving the academy. Certain phrases stuck out and hit me like little needles know I was the reason she felt that way. Especially one part, it kept playing in my head until the song was over.

**I'm sick of feeling cheap  
Cheated and abused  
Sick of losing sleep  
Thinking about you**

"Thanks everyone, now this songs not really true because I never believed in fairy tales but one man had me starting to believe in them…" well it looks like tonight is torment Dimitri night but its good for her to get it all out and good for me to hear how she feels before talking to her.

**There's no such thing as fairy tales**

When she said the last line she glanced over at me and I could tell she was shocked by all the emotion I was showing. She glanced away then turned to look at the princess, she probably said something through the bond. I was glad to see they were starting to get back to their old relationship I never knew exactly why Roza stopped talking to Vasilisa but I figured it just hurt her too much after leaving her behind.

When she finished that song she immediately jumped into a faster song. She was going crazy on stage jumping around, clapping, and dancing. You could tell she was really enjoying herself and letting go.

Even though I knew this song was directed at me, it still made me laugh. Nd she was right she's nothing like Tasha and I will never get anything better than Roza because she is the best, even better. She was so mesmerizing on the stage I just couldn't take my eyes off f her, not that I'd want to.

"She really is something isn't she?" said Jo coming up beside me.

"She's amazing." I agreed.

"I know what happened between y'all and I have a feeling sooner or later she'll some how find a way to forgive you, but I just want you to know she's had it rough the last few years, and she's gone through a lot things most people wouldn't have made it through, I can tell by the way you look at her that you still love her but if you ever hurt her again I promise you'll have more than just me to deal with. Rose has many people looking out for her and none of them would think twice if she ends up hurt again." He threatened.

Part of me was mad that he was threatning me but part of me understood why he was and for that I was happy. Happy to see that Rose had him in her life to help protect her not that she needed much protection I'm sure she could take Joseph and me on her own.

"I don't know what all she's been through since she left but I made the biggest mistake of my life leaving her. I was stupid and thought I was doing the right thing. I could never imagine hurting Roza again, and I will live with the guilt of leaving her, for the rest of my life. And as for you or anyone else dealing with me, even though it will never happen, if I did hurt her again I'd be more scared of her than anyone else."

"I'm just warning you because if she breaks again I'm afraid she won't be able to put herself back together again." About that time rose had announced that Joseph was going to perform with her so he ran on stage leaving me to my thoughts. They sang a song that if I had to name I would say is called 'need you now', and it just confused me a little more. I don't think when he said 'if she breaks again' he was referring to just me leaving.

"Glad y'all liked that one. I know it's one of my favorites! This next one a very special friend wrote with me" I said glancing at Jo "so I hope y'all love this one as much as me and I hope y'all have someone in your life that you can relate this song to whether it be a friend, family member, spouse, kid or anyone else because when you find people in this world that are that special then you know you'll make it through anything no matter how hard it is."

_It's like a storm  
That cuts a path  
It breaks your will  
It feels like that_

She sang the beginning and it made me 10 times more curious on what has happened to her. Watching them you could see a connection much deeper than just friends, if you didn't know any better you'd almost say they were lovers, but I knew Roza and she wasn't in love with him not romantically at least. The way they were looking at each other and the way he was so protective over her, the way she was so dependent on him, made me wonder what happened to them, whatever it was it was huge. Roza has never been so dependent on anyone in her life. For instance earlier she started to fall asleep watching a movie with everyone Lissa asked him if he could show here something and he told her he couldn't until Rose woke up because he HAD to be there when she woke up. The Roza I knew never would have had to have anyone there when she woke up. Something huge must have happened to make her like this, and whatever it was it pissed me off that yet another bad thing happened to my Roza and made me furious at myself because I wasn't there to help her.

When the song was over she looked over and we locked eyes. I could see tears in her eyes and all I wanted to do was run over to her and hold her till all the pain is gone, but I couldn't do that since it was partly my fault she was hurting.

I know one thing for sure somehow I am going to get her to forgive me, and I'm going to find out what caused her so much pain and figure out someway to fix it!


	10. Chapter 9

"Ok guys one more of my songs then we'll bring out the band!" I said into the mic as everyone cheered and Jo walked off. "don't go too far we might need ya later Teddy!" i called after him and the crowd just laughed.

"Have you ever had a guy that you were so in love with he was like your own personal drug? You could never quite get enough? I had that once upon a time, then reality sank in and I was forced to try and get over him and then came this song, hope you like it"

**Sweet like a kiss sharp like a razor blade I find you when I' m close to the bottom You cant appreciate the time it takes To kick a love I always knew was kind of wrong And as I'm putting out the flame Somebody brings up you name**

**Oh oh oh oh Baby baby baby bring me down I want to be right where you are Baby baby baby bring me down You can look me in the eye and break my heart Break my heart**

**Six AM unruffled pillow Laughs out loud at my trusting heart It's like I didn't see the penny I missed the fountain by a couple yards If you would only stay gone Maybe I could move on**

**Oh oh oh oh Baby baby baby bring me down I want to be right where you are Baby baby baby bring me down You can look me in the eye and break my heart Break my heart**

**OH! Baby baby baby bring me down I want to be right where you are Baby baby baby bring me down You can look me in the eye and break my heart Break my heart**

**OH! Baby baby baby bring me down I want to be right where you are Baby baby baby bring me down You can look me in the eye and break my heart Break my heart**

**Bring me down...**

"Alright now here's a more upbeat one, but what do you say we bring out the rest of the band and get this party going?" the crowd cheered and the band came out, "for those of you who don't know we have Jason on guitar...Travis on drums... Cameron on bass...and Tom on keyboard!" I said introducing them all. As I introduced them they all played a short solo and the crowd went wild.

"Here's a song called 'kerosene' its a fun little go to hell type of song so clap along and have some fun" I sang the same song that I performed for the gang at the house and the really awesome thing about this stage is there is a whole strip about 5 inches thick close to the edge of the stage , not close enough to touch the audience but about 3 feet away from the edge, that was made out of some fire proof material so halfway through the song I grabbed a metal tin of gas and poured it all along the strip. The last line as I shouted HEY I dropped a lit match on the edge of the strip and watched the whole front of the stage light up and the crowd went crazy.

"This song my good friend Jason is going to take over so Jason some love!" I said as the band started playing 'Good girls go bad'.

(Jo- Bold Rose Italics and both is both)  
**I make them good girls go bad I make them good girls go Good girls go bad Good girls go bad**

While he was singing, Jo took over playing the guitar while he came over to stand center stage. As he was singing I made my way off the stage for a few seconds to get a drink of water. as he started sing the verse part I ran back out but stayed to the side as he pretended to be singing to me.

**I know your type Yeah daddy's lil' girl Just take a bite Let me shake up your world Cause just one night couldn't be so wrong I'm gonna make you lose control**

As he kept singing I started slowly shaking my way around the stage but going around all the band first. I made my way to tommy just swaying to the music a little and when I got over to him I pretended like I was going to kiss him on the cheek but at last second pulled away teasingly and started dancing my over towards Cameron. While making my way over I started dancing more and more seductively, but not trashy. By this point it was getting close to my turn to sing so i just danced a circle around him and blew him a kiss, then I turned around and went towards Jason and pointed at him.

_I know your type Boy you're dangerous Yeah you're that guy I'd be stupid to trust But just one night couldn't be so wrong You make me want to lose control_

As I sang the last part I playfully ruffled his hair and ran to the other side of the stage while he pretended to try and grab me. While he would sing I would dance and playfully tease him.

**She was so shy 'Til I drove her wild**

_**I make them good girls go bad I make them good girls go bad I was hanging in the corner With my five best friends I heard that you were trouble but I couldn't resist I make them good girls go bad I make them good girls go Good girls go bad Good girls go bad Good girls go bad**_

**Oh she got a way with them boys in the place Treat 'em like they don't stand a chance **_And he got a way with them girls in the back Actin' like they too hot to dance_

As we kept singing I started making my way back over to him and dance around him. As we kept singing I started dancing 'seductively' around him, then I leaned against him and started dancing against him, then pulled away and walked about 5 feet away from him.

**Yeah she got a way with them boys in the place Treat 'em like they don't stand a chance** _And he got a way with them girls in the back Actin' like they too hot to dance_

**I make them good girls go bad I make them good girls go Them good girls go bad Good girls go bad**

_I was hanging in the corner With my five best friends I heard that you were trouble but I couldn't resist_

I walked back over to him and started pretending to flirt with him by running my hands up and down his chest.

I make them good girls go bad I make them good girls go bad I make them good girls go Good girls go bad Good girls go bad Good girls go

As he sang the last few lines I leaned in like I was going to kiss him, but i knew he understood what i was doing. He started to lean in after he sang the last word, when we were about 4 inches away the music stopped and I turned back to the crowd and laughed.

'Rose do you have something you need to tell me?' Lissa playfully said in my head. I looked over at her and barely shook my head laughing still, until I caught a glimpse of Dimitri. He looked kind of angry, he was all tense and I wasn't certain of it but from where i stood i thought i could detect a little jealousy swirling in his eyes. But of course as soon as I look over Tasha appears out of nowhere, clings to his arm as close as she could get and starts whispering in his ear, then they both start laughing. I did however notice that even though he was laughing it never reached his eyes.

We continued on singing song after song until the band started to play a certain song. I walked over to Jason and moved mics away, then whispered in his ear.

"I can't sing this song."

"Why not?"

"Because the person I wrote it about is here and I do not want him to know about this one."

"But Rose it's a crowd favorite, just tell him I wrote it."

"I'll try but he's not stupid so he will figure it out, but whatever. Just know you owe me."

"Love ya Rose"

"Yea yea" I said grinning at him. I walked back to center stage and faced the crowd.

"Sorry we had a miscommunication, but it's fixed now. This next song This awesome guitarist over here wrote and it's always been a crowd favorite, because almost anyone who has had thier heart broken can relate to it, so here it goes."

**I was young but I wasn't naive I watched helpless as he turned around to leave And still I have the pain I have to carry A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried**

**After all this time I never thought we'd be here Never thought we'd be here When my love for you was blind But I couldn't make you see it Couldn't make you see it That I loved you more than you'll ever know A part of me died when I let you go**

It took all my will power not to look at Dimitri. I knew he'd figure it out but just in case, I didn't want to give him any hints.

**I would fall asleep Only in hopes of dreaming That everything would be like it was before But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor**

**After all this time I never thought we'd be here Never thought we'd be here When my love for you was blind But I couldn't make you see it Couldn't make you see it That I loved you more than you'll ever know A part of me died when I let you go**

**After all this why Would you ever wanna leave it Maybe you could not believe it That my love for you was blind But I couldn't make you see it Couldn't make you see it That I loved you more than you will ever know A part of me died when I let you go That I loved you more than you'll ever know A part of me died when I let you go**

The crowd erupted into applause, as I continued trying to fight the tears and urge to look at him. I had never sang that song without at least one tear falling, but I'd be damned if I let him see me cry.  
'Rose that was so beautiful. He really hurt you didn't he? I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you.' said Liss through the bond and I could feel that she was on the verge of crying. Truth was even though what she did hurt me deeply I forgave her a long time ago. I looked over at her and tried to convey my response through my eyes seeing as I couldn't just say it in the middle of the stage and couldn't exactly leave the stage either. She slightly nodded her head in understanding.

'I love you Rose and I'm going to make it up to you somehow.' I just turned and faced the crowd and started the next song. The rest of the night I played some of my favorites including, 'She's So Gone', 'A perfectly good heart', 'Last Resort', 'Love Drunk', 'Break my Heart', and a few others. I finished the concert with one of my favorite songs called 'I will not bow' that I wrote to remind me that no matter what comes i'm strong enough to overcome it.

"Thank you you have been an amazing audience and it's been a blast performing for you all tonight, have a goodnight and don't do anything too crazy!" I said with a laugh then walked off stage.

"That was amazing Rose!" squealed Lissa running over and giving me a hug.

"Thanks."

"That was okay Rosie, but I've seen better." said firefly laughing.

"Aw Firefly now I don't know how I'll ever survive!" I exclaimed pretending to be hurt by his words.

"I'm just kidding you did pretty good."

"I'll take what I can get firefly."

"Little dhampir who knew you could sing so awesome!" said Adrian.

"Me" said Jo coming over and giving me a hug.

"Thanks for supporting me tonight." I whispered in his ear.

"Anytime Posie."

"That was Wonderful Rose." said Dimitri.

"Thanks" I said looking over at him. His eyes held many different emotions, and honestly I was too scared to look hard enough to decipher them so i quickly looked away.

"Why don't we go to your bar and celebrate?" Asked Tommy, the keyboard player, looking at Jo.

"Sounds great!" I answered for him. So then we all headed out to the cars. Unfortunately somehow it ended up Jo driving with Tom in the passenger seat, Me, Lissa, and Christian in the middle row, and Tasha, Dimitri, and a guardian in the very back row with Adrian, Aria, 2 guardians and Cameron, Jason, and Casey in another. how it ended up that way I have no clue because if it was up to me Adrian and Aria would be in here with Dimitri and Tasha in the other car.

"So Rose why did you choose to stay in Texas?" asked Christian.

"I'm not entirely sure. I was trying to get far away and this was the farthest place I could afford so my plan was to get enough money and find somewhere else to settle down at but when I got here I was bad off, I got a job at the bar and Joseph ended up becoming a close friend and helping me out a lot so I ended up staying here with him. Plus I knew not many people would come looking in Texas for the Rose Hathaway." I said with a laugh. "Everyone knows I hated country music, and extremely hot weather"

"Isn't that the truth, you complain more than anyone I've ever met in my life!" said Jo laughing.

"Teddy be nice!"

"I'm just stating a fact."

"Whatever..."

"Aww Rosie are you going to cry?" asked Christian in a mocking tone.

"Shut it Firefly and my name's not Rosie!"

"Whatever you say Rosie." About then we pulled up to the bar and all got out, as Christian started to walk towards the door i put my foot out and tripped him making him fall on the pavement.

"Rose that wasn't very nice!" Scolded Tasha.

"Who said I'm nice? Plus Christians a big boy and can handle himself he knew there would be consequences for calling me that didn't you firefly?"

"Yep but it's still entertaining to watch you get all riled up."

"See he can handle himself." I said glaring at Tasha. 'Stupid bitch mind your own damn business' I thought but didn't say out loud.

"You still could try to be nicer." she said. Wow she does not know when to shut up.

"Like I tried telling you earlier i'm not that nice!" I snapped and walked off before I said anything that would upset Lissa or Christian.

"Wow she's such a bitch." said Tasha thinking I couldn't hear her.

"Tasha just drop it." Interfered Dimitri before I could make a remark. She made a little 'hmph' noise and started walking inside purposely hitting my shoulder on her way in.

"Whore" I mumbled so only she could hear. She turned and glared at me.

"Dimka! Did you just hear that little..."

"Tasha I said drop it!" he said cutting her off sounding annoyed.

We went over to the bar and ordered some drinks then found a table.

"So Rose where's John tonight?" asked Lissa.

"Oh he had to miss the concert because of some work thing but he should be here soon. actually there he is now" I said seeing him enter the bar as I was talking. I walked over to him to keep up this charade.

"Hey honey!" I said jokingly.

"Hey babe!" he said laughing.

"So are you sure you want to keep this up?"

"Rose really now? Even if I did want to back out what would you tell them? The truth? Plus this was all my idea why would I back out now?"

"I don't know if you did want to all I would have to do is say we broke up. And i'm just saying this is going to get really complicated I can feel it now."

"It's fine. I can handle myself. It's not for very long, we got this."

"Ok well Casey talked me into singing at her brothers bands' concert and seeing as I forgot to call you I told them you were busy at some work thing."

"Thats cool. Let's go play." he said with a laugh and a wink.

"Haha ok. hey Johnnie.."

"What flower?"

"First flower? Really? And second I think we should go sing first..."

"Well I need to call you something and that sounded good, my sweet little flower"

"Sweet my ass" I said grinning.

"What do you suggest we sing?"

"Hmmmmm...I'm not sure surprise me."

"Gotcha covered. How about I sing a song for you first?"

"What do you have up your sleeve boy?"

"Boy? I'm offended and I guess you will just have to wait and find out."

"I'm curious so it better be good. I guess i'll go sit down at our table."

"K" he said with a wink leaning down to hug me and kiss me on the cheek. "Gotta keep up with the show."

I walked over to the table smirking until I saw Tasha smirking. That's never a good sign.

"What's John doing?" Asked Lissa

"He's going to sing a song."

"Oh cool."

"Yep" I said popping the 'p' as he walked on stage.

"Hey everyone this one's for my beautiful girlfriend, here's to you flower!" he said with a smirk.

"ass" I muttered. Then I busted out laughing when I realized what song he was singing.

**Yes I can see her Cause every girl in here wanna be her Oh shes a diva I feel the same and I wanna meet her**

**They say she low down Its just a rumor and I don't believe em They say she needs to slow down The baddest thing around town**

**She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before Nothing you can compare to your neighbourhood whore I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful The way that booty movin' I can't take no more Have to stop what i'm doin so I can pull her close I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful**

**Damn girl Damn you'se a sexy bitch A sexy bitch Damn you'se a sexy bitch Damn girl**

**Damn you'se a sexy bitch A sexy bitch Damn you'se a sexy bitch Damn girl**

**Yes I can see her Cause every girl in here wanna be her Oh shes a diva I feel the same and I wanna meet her**

**They say she low down Its just a rumor and I don't believe em They say she needs to slow down The baddest thing around town**

**She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before Nothing you can compare to your neighbourhood whore I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful The way that booty movin' I can't take no more Have to stop what i'm doin so I can pull her close I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful**

**Damn girl Damn you'se a sexy bitch A sexy bitch Damn you'se a sexy bitch Damn girl**

**Damn you'se a sexy bitch A sexy bitch Damn you'se a sexy bitch Damn girl**

**Damn you'se a sexy bitch A sexy bitch Damn you'se a sexy bitch Damn girl**

**Damn you'se a sexy bitch A sexy bitch Damn you'se a sexy bitch Damn you'se a sexy bitch**

The whole time he was singing he was dancing around, looking and pointing at me. Honestly it was pretty funny, but I had to pretend to think it was sexy and such.

I walked over to him and hugged him.

"Hey hot stuff was that song about someone special?" I said jokingly.

"Nah just some random chick that spilled her drink on me." he said bringing up the first time I met him. Just then the song 'Sleazy' came on by Ke$ha.

"Come on lets go dance. We can sing later." I said dragging him to the dance floor.

As we were dancing I started singing to him and he started laughing.

"Hey your not supposed to laugh!" I said

"Sorry but between you singing this song and your little friend over there glaring at us it's just really funny."

I turned around to see what he was talking about and saw Dimitri glaring daggers at John and then looked over to see Tasha glaring between me and Dimitri. Jealous much?

"Thats hilarious."

"Whats hilarious is the fact that the song 'Sleazy' is one of your favorites but your far from sleazy"

"What I love the beat, it's an awesome song to dance to plus who doesn't want to just let loose and go crazy for a little bit even if it's just during one song."

"True so why don't we let loose?"

"Why not?" we kept dancing through the song, but as soon as it was over Tasha went to the stage and started singing.

As soon as the music started I knew what song it was.

"Oh Bitch it's on" I thought, tonight just got interesting...

**AN: Sorry I kind of ended it in a cliffy but I figured I needed to end the chapter soon and that seemed like a good place to plus it adds in a little drama in the story, but don't worry more drama is soon to come :D**

**I have a new idea for a story but i'm not sure if I should or not and I would love your opinions even though most likely I will do it anyways because for the last 2 weeks it has not left my mind and it hasn't seemed to let up at all, it's somewhat based on a person I knows actually expiriences but with a totally better ending. well here's the summary and let me know your opinions:**

**One summer Rose and her parents go to Montana for her mom's 25th class reunion, now her and her mom have made it a tradition to go back and visit her mom's friends every summer but this summers different. Last year she met her mom's friend Olena and her son Dimitri, this year she realizes that she might be falling for him and him for her, the catch is he's engaged and has a daughter. (I'm not sure if he should have a kid or not but in my inspirations life there is one)How will it end up and how will their parents feel about all of this?**

**Songs used in this chapter are:  
'bring me down'by Miranda Lambert 'Good girls go bad' by Cobra Starship 'Blind' by Lifehouse *'She's so gone' by Lemonade Mouth *'a perfectly good heart' by Taylor Swift *'last resort' by Papa Roach *'lovedrunk' by Boys Like Girls *'break my heart' by Hilary Duff 'sexy bitch' by David Guetta *'sleazy'by Ke$ha**

*** means they were just mentioned**


	11. Chapter 10

I heard the music start and immediately got pissed. What's her problem she got the guy! I do have to admit though as soon as she started singing I felt a little better because she is a horrible singer!

**I know he loved you  
A long time ago  
I ain't jealous of you  
Just thought you should know**

**You were never good enough for him  
Or anything like me  
So you might as well sit back  
'cause I'm not trying to show maturity**

As she sang that verse she looked over at me as if I didn't know who she was talking about.

**"X" is the shape I drew through your face  
In permanent marker  
Oh, yeah  
Just like the mark you knew you were making  
Who do you think you are?  
To write on his heart in  
Permanent marker**

'_Rose calm down, she's just trying to piss you off. Don't let her think it's working.'_Said Lissa through the bond. I guess she just knew me way too well, because the truth is this song was pissing me off. The mark I left on HIM? I mean seriously he left me it's not like I chose for us to end, especially not with him choosing her over me.

**I found that picture  
Of you in that green dress  
Sure had a good time  
Cleaning up that mess**

**He found 30 other pieces  
But he'll never find them all  
Tried to tape it back together  
Now he knows to keep it off the wall**

Even though it is somebody else's song she's singing, I did give him a picture of me and Lissa from a few years ago and I don't know if he took it or not but if he did, she probably really did cut it up.

"Rose calm down just ignore her. Lets go get us a drink." Suggested John sensing my growing anger. I tried blocking the rest of the song out as we walked over to the bar. As soon as we reached it, Jo came over.

"You ok Posie?" he asked

"Yep she's just a hoe anyways. Who cares what she sings." I answered pretending it wasn't bothering me, when really it was. He gave me a look pretty much to say he didn't believe me but was going to let it slide. Next thing I know Liss was beside me talking.

"Oh my gosh Rose, I'm so sorry, if I knew she was going to do that I would have tried to stop her."

"It's ok Liss, you don't have control over her. Besides I'm just fine." All three of them gave me looks saying 'yea right!' but I ignored it.

"Hey Teddy, get me a shot please…well no make it 2."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep one for my next performance," I said with a smirk. "and one for after."

"Ok. Whatever you say. Just try to behave yourself as much as possible."

"That's never going to happen." I said just as another voice said "Ha Rosie behave, that's a good one." I turned to see Christian standing beside Lissa with a smirk.

"Hey watch it now. I'm already mad, you don't want to see me pissed." I said with a smile.

"Oh but it's so much fun to piss you off Rosie. I like seeing your face turn red, it suits you." He joked back. Luckily for him Tasha was just finishing her song so instead of replying, I turned around, chugged my shots and told them I'd be right back.

"Hey everyone, hope you didn't miss me too uch since I've been gone" I joked, most of the crowd laughed but Dimitri and Tasha were close enough that I could hear her make a disgusted noise. "Well this next songs' for someone special, don't worry you'll know who you are." I said with a grin. "Oh by the way, this isn't my song but some of the lines don't make sense for what I'm trying to say, so don't freak out it it isn't the same version you know, just focus on the chorus." I said with a grin.

**Look inside  
Look inside your tiny mind  
Now look a bit harder  
Cause****I'm****so uninspired, so sick and tired of all the hatred you harbor**

**I think you're just evil**

**Fuck you  
Fuck you very, very much  
Cause****I****hate what you do  
And****I****hate your whole crew  
So please don't stay in touch**

**Fuck you  
Fuck you very, very much  
Cause your words don't translate  
And it's getting quite late  
So please don't stay in touch**

**Do you get  
Do you get a little kick out of being slow minded?  
It's approval you're after  
Well that's not how you find it**

**Do you  
Do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful?  
Cause there's a hole where your soul should be  
Your losing control of it and it's really distasteful**

**Fuck you  
Fuck you very, very much  
Cause****I****hate what you do  
And****I****hate your whole crew  
So please don't stay in touch**

**Fuck you  
Fuck you very, very much  
Cause your words don't translate and it's getting quite late  
So please don't stay in touch**

**Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,  
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,  
Fuck you**

**You say, you think we need to go to war  
Well you're already in one,  
Cause its people like you  
That need to get slew  
No one wants your opinion**

**Fuck you  
Fuck you very, very much  
Cause****I****hate what you do  
And****I****hate your whole crew  
So please don't stay in touch**

**Fuck you  
Fuck you very, very much  
Cause your words don't translate and it's getting quite late  
So please don't stay in touch**

**Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you  
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you**

When I got done I looked straight at her and said "I told you I'm not nice."

Her jaw dropped and she looked towards Dimitri, probably to whine how I was so mean, but I just turned around and walked off stage not waiting to see his response.

"Wow Rosie remind me never to piss you off." Said Christian with a smirk.

"Firefly! I am warning you if you don't want to piss me off quit calling me that!" I said, I really wasn't all that mad because honestly I've missed him annoying the hell out of me over the last few years, but I couldn't let him know that.

"Aww and there goes the face." He said his smirk getting even bigger.

"Before I do something that Lissa will hate me for later, I'm going to go pee." I said walking off to the bathroom.

"Aww I made you so mad your about to wet yourself, awesome score one for me!"what he didn't realize was that I was close enough to the bar that I could reach over and grab one of our coasters (which are the big, hard, plastic ones I might add), turn around and throw it at him. Which of course I did, hitting him right in the middle of his chest.

"Ow!" he hollered at me.

"Quit whining your lucky it wasn't your head."

"Like you could!" he challenged. I reached to grab another but luckily for Christian, Jo intervened, and took them away before I could.

"Play nice Posie."

"Your no fun, nice is for wusses, to put it nicely." I said then continued my way to the bathroom. I went to one of the stalls and started to do my business when I heard the door open and little click clack of heels come in and stop in front of the mirrors.

'_Please don't let it be Tasha. Please don't let it be Tasha'___I chanted over and over in my head. Not that I wouldn't mind an actual one on one fight with her, I just didn't' want to do something that would make firefly and Liss mad at me, but of course luck was not with me tonight, like usual. When I opened the stall door there she was facing me leaning against the sink with her arms crossed, glaring at me.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked trying to act as if we didn't just trash each other on the stage.

"Don't play with me Rose. You know very well that you're my damn problem."

"I don't get why. I haven't done anything to you."

"HAVEN"T DONE ANYTHING TO ME?" she repeated, "YOU TOOK DIMITRI ME!"

"Umm I don't know if you've gotten the memo but me and him aren't together, we haven't even seen each other in years. He left me for you!"

"Oh no see that's what he was supposed to do. He was supposed to come be my guardian, we were going to get married, and start a family. But no you just had to go ruin everything! But don't worry soon enough you'll know exactly what I am talking about."

"Are you threatening me?" I asked as if she was crazy. "Bitch let me tell you something, I am 10 times the fighter I was when I left, and 20 times the fighter you will ever be. So if I were you I would stay the hell away from me."

"Like I'm scared of a little whore like you. I don't know why Dimitri was ever even involved with you, or why my nephew and his little tramp of a girlfriend even put up with you. Your little friends here must be retarded if they actually like you. I mean if you ask me the world would have been better off with out you."

"YOU BITCH!" I shouted lunging at her my fist connecting with her nose. Blood started spurting oh, but I kept going. I had knocked her to the ground and was now straddling her still trying to get hits in but then she started using her element forming a giant fireball blocking my way to her face. Since I couldn't really get to her face I started punching her in the stomach, not hard enough to permanently damage or injure anything, just hard enough to leave bruises. She made the fireball bigger and tried to throw it at me but I expected it and rolled off of her just in time. She tried to use it to her advantage and jump on top of me but as soon as she started to jump I kicked her in the side. I got up to start throwing more punches when a pair of hands grabbed my arms.

"Stop Posie." Said Teddy softly into my ear. I looked over to see, Adrian, and Aria standing by the wall, and Dimitri and Christian huddled around Tasha trying to see if she was ok. Seeing them comfort her just pissed me off even more I started trying to struggle out of his grip without hurting him.

"Jo if you don't want to get hurt I'd suggest you let me go NOW!"

"Rose I'm not going to let you do this. Calm down. Your letting it control you again." He said moving in front of me, still maintaing his grip on my arms.

"Look at me." He said forcefully. But I didn't want to look at him I wanted to go rip Tasha to shreds after what she said, nobody insults my family or my friends like that!

"ROSE! Look at me babe." He said letting go of one of my arms so that he could put his hand on my cheek and make me look at him. My eyes met his and I saw that his eyes were full of concern and love with a hint of fear. Not fear of me but for me and everyone else around me. "Focus on me ok. Take deep breaths and try to calm down. Can you do that?"

"I was still shaking from all the anger in me that I couldn't really talk so I just barely nodded my head. I kept my eyes on his while focusing on my breathing. I knew he had been right, I had let some of the darkness get a hold of me again. Normally I had a pretty awesome control over it, and only ever took a lot in before or during a fight ( a little trick I had learned a while back to help me become a better fighter.) I guess with me reopening the bond so much and seeing everyone again got me distracted and I unknowingly took too much.

After a minute or two the anger subsided and I started breathing pretty normal again. Jo noticed the change and let go of my arms and pulled me into a hug. For some reason he's the only one, besides Dimitri, that's ever been able to help me when the darkness takes over.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take all that in I just let my guard slip a little with everything going on.' I said softly into his shoulder.

"It's ok Posie I know. Everything is alright." He said.

"Like hell it is!" shouted Tasha from the other side of the room. I tensed up knowing it could happen again if she didn't shut up. I felt Jo raise his head up and knew he was glaring at Tasha.

"Tasha if I were you I would shut up now! Your lucky we were here to save your sorry ass!" he said coldly.

"Aunt Tasha what exactly happened?" asked Christian.

"I came in here to use the restroom when that little whore just attacked me!" she said trying to sound all innocent. That made me lose it again, not all of the darkness had faded, but it wasn't bad enough that I wanted to kill her again…yet.

I jumped up and faced her, Jo not far behind.

"Tell the truth Tasha tell them what really happened!"

"I have no idea what you are talking about. I came in here to use the restroom and before I even made it to the stall you started attacking!"

"Like hell I did. _**I**_ came in here to use the restroom and when I walked out of the stall you were there waiting to yell at me! Why don't you tell them all what you said. Huh Tasha go ahead. See what they have to say about that."

"Quit lying Rose it's unhealthy."

"Oh so you didn't come in here to blame me for Dimitri not loving you, you didn't threaten me, or call Lissa a Tramp?" as I said that part I heard Lissa gasp shocked that Tasha had said that about her. "you didn't say that my friends are retarded or that the world would have been better without me in it?"

"I didn't say any of that your just making stuff up to make yourself look like the hero as always, just like in Spokane, when it was really your fault that Mason died" all I heard was Spokane and Mason and I lunged. Jo immediately grabbed my arms again

"Don't you ever dare to even think his name again! You have no right!" I shouted struggling against Jo's grip. I was still aware enough to control myself from hurting him, but that control was slowly slipping.

"Get her out of here!" yelled Jo jumping in front of me knowing that I was about to completely lose it, then no one could stop me. Immediately Dimitri and Christian grabbed her and tried pulling her out of the room, but the stupid bitch fought them.

"I have no right? Look at you, you should be locked up in an institution!"

"TASHA STOP!" yelled Dimitri.

"Whatever take her side yet again. It's really no surprise. She's got you all wrapped around her little finger and she doesn't even care about any of you.!"

"That's not true!" I yelled pushing against Jo.

"Oh really then why did you run away Rose? Huh? Why did you never come back? Or better yet why are you still keeping secrets from them? Don't you think they deserve to know what happened?"

I froze praying that she was just taking a wild guess or talking about anything besides the kidnapping. She just smiled.

"Rose what is she talking about?" asked Lissa.

"That's right Rose, I know what happened 2 years ago."

"How?"

"Oh I have my ways." She said her smile getting even bigger. I immediately ran at her pushing Jo off of me.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW!" I yelled. Next thing I know Dimitri was in front of me trying to block me and Jo had caught up behind me pulling me backwards. By that point though I was so consumed in straight up rage and darkness I knew they wouldn't hold me for long.

I heard yelling around me but I didn't care enough to see who it was or what they were saying, all I wanted was to strangle Tasha until she told me everything she know, then most likely I still wouldn't be done with her. She insulted my family, she knew about the kidnapping, meaning she was most likely involved, therefore she also hurt part of my family. She deserved to pay! Nobody messes with me or my family without getting hurt. I continued to fight against the 2 holding me back, when all of a sudden Lissa was standing about 5 feet away from me blocking my path.

"Rose Look at me." She said soothingly. "You need to stop. Calm down. This isn't you. You just need to stop and relax for a minute."

"No she needs to pay! She helped hurt and insulted my family, and she deserves to be punished for it!"

"Adrian help its not working!" She yelled. Next thing I knew Adrian was standing beside her, also blocking my path.

"Rose calm down." He said a little forceful. I looked up at his eyes and could feel myself slowly start to calm down.

"NO! Quit that!" I shouted realizing they were trying to compel me. I looked down at the ground and avoided looking anywhere near them.

"Now what?" I vaguely heard someone say. Next thing I knew something hard hit my in the back of my head. Dots began to swim in my vision, and I started to fall until a pair of hands grabbed me and gently laid me down. The last thing I remember is hearing a voice saying "I'm sorry" and a soft pressure on my forehead before I let the darkness completely surround me.

**DPOV:**

After Rose's song to Tasha, Tasha decided she needed some air. I let her walk off then went to find the others. I found them all gathered around the bar. Christian was rubbing his chest and everyone seemed to be laughing at him.

"What's I miss?" I asked curious as to what happened.

"Christian found out that Roses' aim just keeps getting better." Laughed Adrian.

"I'm guessing you called her Rosie again?" I asked him.

"Yea and teased her a little bit." Said Christian.

"Ah Chris, when are you ever going to learn Rose is a badass that's always going to win!" teased Adrian.

"Shut up. It's still funny to annoy her."

"Umm speaking of where is she?" I asked.

"Bathroom. Tasha got her pissed off so she went in there to calm down for a second, and to pee." Said Lissa.

"Oh." I said.

"Dimitri you really need to talk to her." Said Lissa.

"Yea man she was pissed because of Tasha's song, she doesn't know you two aren't together, together." Agreed Christian.

"I know I've been trying to talk to her but she just gets mad and yells at me, I say the wrong thing and she gets even more mad at me, or she just ignores me and walks off."

"Well your going to have to make her listen."

"How?" I started to ask but Jo came over and interrupted.

"Hey Guys sorry to interrupt but where's Rose?"

"Bathroom." Said Lissa.

"Oh shit." Said Jo.

"What?" we all practically said at the same time.

"I saw Tasha walk in there a few minutes ago."

"Crap."

"Dang it!"

"Lets' go!"

We all said at the same time. Then we all rushed to the bathroom, and from the sounds of it, it wasn't going good in there. About 5 feet away we heard Rose yell "YOU BITCH!" then a lot of thumps. We barged in the bathroom, me and Joseph first, just in time to see Rose dodge a fireball that Tasha threw at her, then Tasha try to jump on Rose only to have Rose kick her, knocking her back down. Rose went to jump back onto Tasha but Jo was quick to react and held her back.

Me and Christian immediately ran over and pulled Tasha as far away from Rose as Possible to give the two a chance to calm down. I glanced over to see Jo whispering to Rose his hands holding her still, making sure she didn't make a run for it. They were staring in each others eyes and I slowly started to see Roses' shaking start to calm down. Immediately I felt jealous that he was able to calm her down so easily when I've been the only one that has ever been able to calm her down at all, not even Lissa could. I knew most likely, darkness was mostly to blame just like the time with Jesse.

I guess Tasha caught me looking at Rose and didn't like it because immediately tried to give me a hug and kept saying

"Thank you Dimka for saving me when you did. She's insane!" I didn't say anything because I didn't want to piss Tasha off but I had a feeling that Tasha was probably the one to instigate it, just like she had with the song earlier.

"It's ok Posie I know. Everything is alright." Jo said a little too loud because instantly Tasha sat up straighter and looked over at Rose and Joseph.

"Like hell it is!" she shouted. I saw Rose tense, and for a second I was honestly scared for Tasha if she didn't shut up.

"Tasha if I were you I would shut up now! Your lucky we were here to save your sorry ass!" said Jo very coldly as he turned to glare at her.

"Aunt Tasha what exactly happened?" asked Christian.

"I came in here to use the restroom when that little whore just attacked me!" she said, but for some reason I'm pretty sure that wasn't the full story, looking over at Christian he was thinking the same thing but before we could say anything Rose was up and facing us, with Jo standing right behind her, ready to restrain her if need be.

"Tell the truth Tasha tell them what really happened!" Rose half shouted at her.

"I have no idea what you are talking about. I came in here to use the restroom and before I even made it to the stall you started attacking!"

"Like hell I did. _**I**_ came in here to use the restroom and when I walked out of the stall you were there waiting to yell at me! Why don't you tell them all what you said. Huh Tasha go ahead. See what they have to say about that." I could see Rose getting angrier and angrier and I knew the darkness was coming back so I positioned myself to where if I needed to I could jump in front of Tasha.

"Quit lying Rose it's unhealthy."

"Oh so you didn't come in here to blame me for Dimitri not loving you, you didn't threaten me, or call Lissa a Tramp?" as she said that part I heard Lissa gasp shocked that Tasha had said that about her, I was shocked to hear that but to also hear that she had blamed Rose for me not loving her, when in reality even if there was no Rose, I'm pretty sure I still would not be in love with Tasha, she just doesn't seem to get that.

"you didn't say that my friends are retarded or that the world would have been better without me in it?"

Now that pissed ME off there is no world unless Rose is in it somewhere. She makes it a better place just by existing in it.

"I didn't say any of that your just making stuff up to make yourself look like the hero as always, just like in Spokane, when it was really your fault that Mason died" I started cursing in Russian in my head, pretty certain that Tasha has a death wish. Rose lunged forward and Jo grabbed her. In a way I couldn't blame Rose, heck I ALMOST wanted to hit her myself for saying that. Rose has always blamed herself for Masons' death and Tasha had no right to say anything about it.

"Don't you ever dare to even think his name again! You have no right!" she shouted struggling against Jo's grip. I could tell that she was holding back just enough to where she didn't hurt Jo but I figured it wouldn't last long so I started pushing Tasha towards the door, only she refused to move.

"Get her out of here!" yelled Jo jumping in front of Rose blocking her from Tasha. Christian and I Were trying to shove het out the door but she was fighting us, she actually started to make her hands heat up enough to where I had to slightly loosen my grip so they wouldn't burn.

"I have no right? Look at you, you should be locked up in an institution!" Tasha yelled at er.

"TASHA STOP!" I yelled knowing that we were all screwed if she didn't shut up and getting pissed because she shouldn't be saying any of these things to Rose. Does she really hate her that much all because of me?

"Whatever take her side yet again. It's really no surprise. She's got you all wrapped around her little finger and she doesn't even care about any of you.!" Said Tasha letting some of her insecurities and jealousies come out.

"That's not true!" Rose yelled trying to get past Joseph. I really was surprised nobody had tried coming in here I guess the music was just so loud they couldn't hear thankfully.

"Oh really then why did you run away Rose? Huh? Why did you never come back? Or better yet why are you still keeping secrets from them? Don't you think they deserve to know what happened?" what in the world was Tasha talking about. Does she know what happened to Rose and if so how?

Rose froze in place so I knew she had caught that last part. Hopefully she won't make the same thought connection I did. If Tasha knows about it does it mean she was involved with whatever it was? if she was, I would run for it now, because whatever it was I can tell it was pretty bad.

"Rose what is she talking about?" asked Lissa.

"That's right Rose, I know what happened 2 years ago." Said Tasha smiling, almost evily? At her.

"How?" asked rose coldly.

"Oh I have my ways." She said her smile getting even bigger. Rose immediately took off easily getting by Jo I jumped in front of her to stop her and quickly Jo caught up and pulled her back.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW!" Rose screamed at Tasha

"LISSA COME HELP US WITH ROSE! ADRIAN HELP CHRISTIAN WITH TASHA!" Jo yelled over the commotion Rose was making trying to get past us.

"LISSA STAY BACK!" I corrected wanting her as far away from Rose as possible right now.

"She needs to compel Rose and calm her down Dimitri it's that or know her out you choose." He said.

"Fine Lissa come compel her but try to stay as far back as possible in case it doesn't work." She walked up behind me, where Rose would be able to see her but she wouldn't be in immediate danger.

"Rose Look at me." She said soothingly. "You need to stop. Calm down. This isn't you. You just need to stop and relax for a minute."

"No she needs to pay! She helped hurt and insulted my family, and she deserves to be punished for it!" Rose yelled.

"Adrian help its not working!" Yelled Lissa getting Ivashkov to come try to help.

"Rose calm down." He said a little forceful. I watched her look at him and start to calm down but all too quickly she realized what was happening.

"NO! Quit that!" she shouted.

"Now what?" asked Adrian, "It's not working." Me and Jo exchanged a knowing glance, then he reached up and knocked her unconscious. Right as she started to fall to the ground I heard Christian yelling for Tasha, so I turned around to see Tasha running out the door. I took off after her knowing Jo would take care of Rose and most likely Lissa would heal any injuries or burns she got from the fight.

I took off through the crowd trying to follow Tasha but not be too suspicious, only it didn't work. By the time I got to the exit she was no where to be found. I knew that most likely where ever she had went she won't be coming back tonight, so I went back to the bathroom to check on everyone else.

When I got there Adrian, and Aria were against the wall trying to stay out of the way, Joseph had Rose laying in his lap so she'd be comfortable and Lissa was bent over trying to heal her injuries with Christian right beside her. Poor guy he's probably torn up inside about what went on tonight. Tasha was the only living blood relative he had left and from the way things have turned out it doesn't seem as if she's one of the good guys anymore.

"What are these?" Lissa asked Jo lifting up Roses' arms to show him what she was talking about. Adrian, Aria, and I went over to look and found that she had scars all up and down her forearms. Please don't tell me she had started cutting herself.

"Shit she's gonna kill me." He muttered.

"Joseph!" demanded Lissa, I could tell it was just out of worry for Rose she wasn't trying to be rude or anything but I couldn't blame her, I was worried too. We all stared at Jo waiting for an answer.

"As much as I want to that's not for me to tell. She would personally kill me if I said anything without her permission, so why don't you wait until tomorrow and ask her about it. I'm sure you have other questions after what happened tonight any ways right?"

We all nodded our heads at him to in shock to really say anything.

"Ok well let's all go back to the house, and get some sleep and you can all talk to Rose tomorrow. Right now she needs to rest and let her body heal and so do you 3" he said pointing at Adrian, Lissa, and Christian, "Especially you lil miss, Rose would personally kick my butt if you passed out from over using spirit." He added with a chuckle pointing to Lissa.

"Ok let's go." She said, "But what about the bar? Don't you have to close it?"

"I'll let Casey take care of it tonight. I anybody asks just say Rose passed out in the bathroom and got sick everywhere, and we were cleaning it, that's' why we were in there so long."

Jo Picked her up and started to carry her out the door, and immediately I felt jealous yet again. I really need to get Roza to listen to me, I hate feeling so jealous. To make matters even worse I know that He is the one who gets' to lay down with her tonight and comfort her when she has a nightmare. Even though I know it's nothing more than a platonic relationship, sometimes they don't act like it, and it still gets me green with envy.

We walked out of the bathroom and strangely enough no one even spared us a second glance, almost as if its normal to see a group of people carry a young woman out of a bathroom, and out of the bar, but then I guess they all know Rose and Jo so it's probably not that weird for them.

We got to the house and Jo took her to his room, I went upstairs and got dressed for bed, then just layed there in the dark thinking over everything that happened tonight, how Tasha is connected to whatever happened to Rose, What could have happened to Rose, Rose's arms, and just Rose in general. Next thing I knew I was asleep dreaming about the girl I loved.

**Songs used- "Permanent Marker" by Taylor Swift "Fuck You" by Lily Allen**


	12. Chapter 11

**The song partially in this chapter is called 'One Day You Will' by Lady Antebellum, I heard it last night and immediately decided I wanted it in this story which is pretty much how I ended up with this chapter.**

**Well onto the story, as always PLEASE R&R. it helps so much and helps motivate me. : )**

LPOV:

_i woke up to find myself blindfolded and chained to the wall, it felt like I had no clothes on but after a few seconds I realized I still had on my undergarment, just y dress was missing. I tried to move my hands around but as usual they wouldn't budge._

'_as usual' I thought to myself whats usual about this. Just then I hear a door open and footsteps approach._

"_How are we doing my dear?" said a voice that's haunted me to this day, Victor._

"_Just peachy." Said a voice that sounded like Rose but it came out of my mouth….what's going on?_

"_Ah Rosemarie, you never do lose your sarcastic humor do you?' Rose? But I'm not Rose. I tried to think back to the last thing I remember. we came home from the bar and Jo and Rose went to bed, then me and Christian went up to our rooms and went to sleep, I don't remember waking so I must be dreaming, but I don't think this is my dream…could I possibly be in Rose's mind watching her dreams? Somehow I knew it wasn't just a normal dream though, it was a memory, I don't know how I knew it I just did._

"_Of course not Vic if I did then I wouldn't be me." She said pretending to not care at the fact that she was tied up and blindfolded half naked, even though I knew she was really scared as heck. I could tell from her thoughts that she had been here for days and it wasn't the first time he had came in here._

"_have you finally decided to turn yet?" he asked in what seemed like a cheerful voice._

"_And become one of you? No thanks I'll pass." She said with a snort._

"_Very well then. Randy." He said then I heard another pair of footsteps coming towards me/her. Her heartbeat started racing and I could feel her fear spike. The new person who I'm assuming is Randy stopped and next thing I knew I felt a hard slap across the face, and boy did it hur I could taste the blood welling up in her mouth . But Rose always being the strong one held in her scream and acted as if it never happened._

"_Rosemarie do we really need to keep this up today? Why don't you just turn already, it's kind of sad to see you being beaten everyday." Said Victor._

"_Then quit telling this ass-wipe to do it." She replied forcefully._

"_Oh but then I wouldn't get my way my dear. And I always get my way." He said coldly "I have other matters to attend to such as your little boy toy, so Randy have some fun, but don't kill her just yet." He said as I heard his footsteps retreating and the door open and close._

_Next thing I know I heard an evil laugh and then the pain really began. He started kicking, punching, ripping and tearing. It was excruciating and I couldn't help myself I started screaming, but Rose was still doing her best to hold it all in. to her if she started screaming it meant defeat and she wasn't going down that easily. Next thing I know I was shaking._

"LISS, it's me wake up!" shouted Christian. I clung on to him and just cried.

"It was sooo horrible." I sobbed.

"What was?" said a voice I didn't expect. I wiped my eyes so I could try to see clearly and looked up at the end of the bed. There stood Adrian, Aria, Dimitri, and Jo.

"I….I….I was in Rose's head while she was having a dream about something that had happened to her, it was horrifying."

"What happened?" asked Dimitri, but before I could answer we heard Rose scream.

"JO!"

"Shit!." Jo cursed running out the door, we all followed him. When we got to his room Rose was curled up in a ball crying hysterically almost gasping for air. It looked like she was having a panic attack. Jo immediately rushed to her side and picked her up, setting her on his lap.

"I'm here babe, it's ok quit crying." He repeated until she calmed down a little. When she finally realized that Jo was with her she immediately hooked her arms around him and clung on for dear life.

"I woke up and you weren't here, and I got scared…I was afraid-" he cut her off before she could continue her little rant

"It's ok I'm fine. I'm so sorry I wasn't here when you woke up I shouldn't have even left the room."

"It's ok as long as you're here now." She said as you could see her grip loosening from her exhaustion.

"Go back to sleep posie I'm here no one will harm you or me."

"I can't, I need my pills." Jo looked up at us as if asking if one of us could go get them.

"I will I whispered so rose wouldn't hear me and nodded my head at Jo to let him know I will. I walked off towards the kitchen pulling the others with me.

"Let's give them some space" I whispered walking down the hallway knowing Rose would feel humiliated at us all watching her mini breakdown.

"What the hell happened in there?" asked Christian as soon as we walked into the kitchen.

"From the little bit I saw in her mind tonight she probably had a panic attack. She went through something pretty rough, I was only in her mind for a few minutes and I'm still shaken up from it she actually lived through it. I'm guessing she's developed some sort of anxiety because apparently her and Jo were kidnapped together and they didn't just torture her."

"What exactly happened in your dream?" asked Dimitri.

"It's not my business to tell but I know you all care about her just as much as I do so I'll give you the basics that I know. Rose was kidnapped and tortured, and they held Jo captive in another room apart from her." I said not telling them who had kidnapped her or why because honestly I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud.

"Do you know who or why?" asked Adrian.

"No." I lied. Christian looked at me and I knew he knew I was lying but he didn't say anything. "I have to get these to Rose so she can go back to sleep."

"Here Liss le me help." Dimitri said when I couldn't find them. He walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a little bottle and handed me 2 pills. "I walked in on her taking them the other day." He explained when we all gave him questioning looks.

"Ok well you all go get some rest, I have a feeling we'll have an emotional day tomorrow." I said trying to get them to leave Rose and me alone for a little bit, I knew she wouldn't be up to seeing them right now. Heck she probably won't like seeing me but oh well. I grabbed a bottle of water and started walking and of course Christian followed me, I gave him a look saying to leave her alone and be quiet.

"I know! I'm not completely heartless babe." He whispered.

"I know I'm sorry."

"It's ok." He said grabbing my hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

I walked to the doorway but stopped before going in, watching the scene before me. By this point Jo had her laying back down, him laying next to her, she was on her side with her head on his shoulder looking like she was going to break down any second. I could feel the fear and pain radiating off of her. I guess our bond was becoming 2 way now. Jo was singing softly to her and it seemed to be relaxing her.

**"You wake up every morning and ask yourself  
What am I doing here anyway  
With the weight of all those disappointments  
Whispering in your ear  
You're just barely hanging by a thread  
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath  
And you don't know it yet**

**But down the road the sun is shining  
In every cloud there's a silver lining  
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)  
And every heartache makes you stronger  
But it won't be much longer  
You'll find love, you'll find peace  
And the you you're meant to be  
I know right now that's not the way you feel  
But one day you will"**

I softly knocked hating to interrupt but knowing that Rose needed her pills. At my knocks they both looked up a little startled.

"I brought you your slipping meds." I said softly Jo pulled them up to a sitting position so she could take the pills. She took them and then looked back at me.

"Thanks." She said sincerely

"Your welcome."

"You saw what happened earlier didn't you?" she asked. I'm guessing she was talking about Her breakdown, so in an attempt to make her feel better I lied.

"Saw what?"

"You're a bad liar Liss you always have been. Besides how else did you know I needed my pills?" she said with a half smirk

"Best friend intuition?" I joked

"Yea right, it's ok. Did anybody else see?"

"Of course not." I said a little too quickly.

"Damn it they did."

"It's ok Rose. they don't see you any differently. They just want to know whats wrong."

"I suppose after tonights earlier events I've got some explaining to do?" she asked me.

"Only if your ready Rose, no one is going to push you." She yawned and I could tell the medicine was kicking into her already exhausted body. "Get some sleep we'll talk tomorrow."

"Ok Liss, goodnight and thanks for the meds." She said as Jo laid her back down, and I started walking towards the door.

"Anytime, Rose, anytime." I answered softly. Christian and I walked back to our room and layed down, but all I could think about was the dream and then how Rose reacted when Jo wasn't in the room when she woke up. I can't believe my uncle, someone I trusted and loved at one point, had done this to her. I had heard he had escaped but nobody could find him. I do remember though, that around 2 years ago a house was found with a bunch of dead strigoi, and it looked like it had been Victors' hide out but nobody ever actually found him….could that have been where he had kept Rose and Joseph?

"What are you thinking about babe?" Christian asked sensing my uneasiness.

"The dream and everything that's happened with Rose."

"How come you lied earlier?"

"It was just too horrible for me to even say out loud….i can't believe he would do such a thing!" I added the last part mostly to myself.

"Who?"

"Do you remember that house last year that they found with a bunch of strigoi bodies and they thought it looked like a hide out?" I asked knowing that he would guess it so I wouldn't have to say it out loud. Saying it makes it more real and right this second I couldn't handle that.

"Yea…." He said looking slightly confused. I could tell his brain was starting to connect the dots but wasn't fully there.

"I think that might have been where Rose was held hostage."

"Ok?...OH!" he said finally putting it all together. "Are you serious? HE did that to her?" I just nodded my head, tears started forming in my eyes. Christian pulled me closer resting his head on top on mine while I layed mine on his chest, with both of his arms wrapped around me. "I'm so sorry. I could just kill him for that! I mean it was horrible that someone had done it to her at all but for it to have been HIM someone she had loved and trusted! It's just downright appalling."

"I know." I agreed in a small voice."

"and then you just witnessed part of it that's even worse!"

"I technically didn't see it just heard and felt it….he had her blindfolded." I corrected but when I said felt my body gave an involuntary shudder just at the thought.

"Don't worry he won't come near either one of you ever again…..i just want to know what part my….Tasha played in it." He was going to say his aunt but stopped himself.

"How are you handling everything?" I asked knowing that he was feeling pretty much the same way about Tasha as I was Victor.

"I'm ok. I always knew Tasha disliked Rose but I never thought she would ever physically attack her or say any of the things she said to her."

"I can't believe it either." I said. For a few minutes we just sat there reflecting on our thoughts, until I yawned.

"Go back to sleep babe. Like you said we will problem have a very emotional day tomorrow."

"Ok. Goodnight, I love you."

"I love you too…hey liss." He said.

"Hmm?"

"I'm proud of you and the way you handled everything tonight."

"What do you mean?"

"How earlier despite being shaken up from the dream you still rushed to go make sure Rose was ok, and then stayed in Rose defense mode making eve3ryone leave so as to not upset her and even before all of that at the bar earlier when your fear you still tried to compel Rose to protect her-" I cut him off.

"But it didn't work." I pointed out.

"No but that's because your best friend is strange and for some reason is almost impossible to compel. But you at least tried."

"I don't know about the whole best friend thing she still kind of hates me not that I blame her."

"Well from what you told me it sounds like she's had it rough since she left, knowing Rose she forgave you the moment it happened, just after everything she's been through she doesn't want to get hurt again so she won't put down her guard, I don't even know if she can just yet. But she'll come around."

"Do you really think so?" I asked trying not to let him know how much I hoped he was right.

"I know so. Rose still loves you like a sister, she told me she still goes in your head once a month to check on you and take the darkness from you."

"Is that what that was? I thought it was weird that all the darkness would just disappear, I should have known it was Rose all along." I yawned again.

"Go to sleep we'll talk more tomorrow."

"K. Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being you." I said with a smile.

"Goodnight" he said with a chuckle. Pretty soon I drifted off back into my own dreams thankfully.

RPOV:

I woke up wrapped in Jo's arms, he was still asleep so I just laid there letting him get some rest. I thought back to last night's events and immediately felt embarrassed that everyone saw me break down. I hate myself when stuff like that happens. I wish I could just get over this stupid anxiety and not have a breakdown every time I wake up and don't hear or see Jo, but I don't think that will ever happen.

I thought back to when Lissa came in. I could feel her emotions and it was strange she was feeling sympathetic, but I also felt fear and shock. Was she scared of me after everything that happened yesterday? I couldn't really blame her if she did, hell I'd be scared of me too.

Jo started stirring in his sleep and moved just enough to where I could climb out with out waking him. I walked into the kitchen for a glass of water. I sat at the counter staring out the window as I heard everyone upstairs slowly start getting up and walking around but I just sat there staring.

"Hey Rose?" asked Lissa, sounding afraid again. I turned and looked at her.

"Nope the Easter Bunny, but good guess." I answered with a grin. That got a chuckle from her and her fear went down just a little.

"Ummmm…well I don't know if you've already seen in my head or not but umm….well…" she kept pausing like she didn't know how to say something. I could have just looked in her head but it was kind of more entertaining to watch her try to tell me herself.

"Well what? It's ok Liss I'm not going to freak out on you just say whatever it is that's on your mind."

"I know you won't it's just I don't know if your going to like what I tell you." She stated but as soon as she started speaking again the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Said Christian already halfway down the stairs.

"Well just spit it out." I said. Not bothering to go see who was at the door, Christian could take care of it. Before Lissa could say anything I heard clinking of heels on the tile.

"Hey slut did you miss me?" asked a voice that I had surprisingly missed a lot over the years.


	13. Chapter 12

"Yes you Bitch!" I said turning around to face my old friend Mia. She ran over to me and hugged me. "What are you doing in my house?"

"We were supposed to be with this group but we had to take care of some things so we met them here!"

"Oh yea you were supposed to be with them. Hold on where's Eddie?" I asked looking behind Mia

"Oh don't tell me you didn't even notice me?" he asked standing off to the side

"What can I say Mia's just more important." I joked. I went over and hugged him.

"How have you guys been?" I asked pulling out of the hug looking at the both of them.

"Pretty good, been missing you surprisingly a lot more than expected," Mia joked.

"Surprising how that happens huh?" laughed Christian earning him a fake slap on the arm from Liss. "I'm just kidding babe."

"Well as much fun as this is would you mind if we took our stuff upstairs and took a shower? We've been on a plane forever and I need one." Asked Mia.

"Yea sure you can take whatever room is left open upstairs," I replied.

"Here I'll take you up there, I was just about to hop in myself," volunteered Lissa pulling Firefly with her. I walked back to Jo's room and saw he still hadn't moved. I left a note on the night stand beside his bed then crept out of the room and into my own. I found a pair of jogging shorts and pulled on a sports bra, tank top, and hoodie. I crept out the door and started my usual run.

This morning I had a lot on my mind so my pace was slower than usual at first. The more and more I started to think about things though the angrier I got which made me start running faster and faster.

I thought about Victor and what he had done to Jo and me and what he had cost us. I thought about the show down last night and what Tasha had said. I wondered how much she was involved and how I was the only one that ever saw through her charades. I thought about how my life ended up like this. How I've become so dependent and scared. I used to be so carefree and independent. I used to be the one everyone leaned on. I thought about Dimitri and the pain he put me through when he chose to leave. I never got over him and I never will but can I let him in so easily? How am I supposed to act like that never happened, like he never hurt me? I've just started to even partially recover from him leaving and the only reason is because of Jo and the kidnapping. Nightmares from the kidnapping have consumed my dreams instead of the nightmares of Dimitri. When I wake up I only let myself think of the present, Jo, Casey, and the bar. If I even start to reminisce I call Jo. If I let myself go down that road I'll fall and I'm not sure I can climb back up.

Now the past is here facing me and I don't know what to do. If I let any of them back in and something happens then I'm done for, I know it.

'_Then it's settled'_I thought to myself. I'll answer their questions and I'll be friendly but I won't let them in again. _'That's gonna be easy'_

By this point I realized I was on my 3rd lap around the property. That made it about 9 miles considering the property was about 3 miles around. I finished that lap and went inside. I heard people in the kitchen but I didn't feel like seeing them so I went around the other way. When I got to the bedroom Jo was still sleeping. '_dang he must really be tired, he never sleeps this late'_ I thought to myself. It's probably from him waking up with me all the time plus the stress of everything that happened last night and everything else going on.

I decided to go to my bathroom and jump into the shower. I tried to relax and calm down from my run but it really wasn't working.

"All I want, all I need is peace" I whispered thinking of a song I wrote a while back. _'Yea, peace of mind'_ I thought to myself as I finished my shower.

When I got out I pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt and went to Jo's room to see if he was awake yet. When I got in there he was gone from the bed but I heard his shower running so I decided to go to my music room. It was originally a guest bedroom but I decided there was enough bedrooms upstairs.

I grabbed my electric guitar since the room is sound proof anyways and started to play the song that was stuck in my head.

**Tired  
Of everything around me  
I smile  
But I don't feel a thing no**

**I'm so far from where I need to be  
I've given up on faith, on everything  
All I want, all I need  
Is some peace**

**There's a hole  
Inside of me  
It's so cold  
Slowly killing me**

There's been a hole in my heart since the moment he decided to leave and ever since, it has just gotten bigger and bigger.

**Secrets  
Eating at the core of me  
Shut off  
Trusting all the lies I breathe**

**I'm so far from where I need to be  
I've given up on faith, on everything  
All I wanted, all I needed  
Was some peace**

**There's a hole  
Inside of me  
It's so damn cold  
Slowly killing me**

**Sinking ever so slowly  
So far from where I should be  
No hands reaching out for me  
Help me, help me**

**Something's gone  
I can feel it  
It's all wrong  
I'm so sick of this**

**There's a hole  
Inside of me  
It's so cold  
Slowly killing me  
There's a hole  
Inside of me  
It's so damn cold  
Slowly killing me**

Of course singing this song made me think of another song I wrote write after it. I wrote them both within a month of the kidnapping. They were so similar yet so far apart. One is talking about how there's a hole eating away at me because all of this shit keeps happening to me pulling people out of my life and forcing me o give up the beliefs I once trusted in. The other is specifically against one person and one belief, three guesses who. I once believed that even though I'm not in some love story and wasn't some heroin waiting to be rescued by the handsome hero, if there ever came a day where I needed rescuing or help, Dimitri would always be there, only he wasn't.

I grabbed my acoustic and started to play.

**Louder, louder  
The voices in my head  
Whispers taunting  
All the things you said  
Faster the days go by and I'm still  
Stuck in this moment of wanting you here  
Time  
In the blink of an eye  
You held my hand, you held me tight  
Now you're gone  
And I'm still crying  
Shocked, broken  
I'm dying inside**

I was held hostage in a room for days praying that by some chance for once my life could be like a movie and Dimitri would come storming in knowing that something was wrong. I knew it would never happen but I still hoped and prayed. Finally one day I just gave up hope, I knew there would be no chance of being rescued and it was pretty much all my fault because no one even knew where I was. That day I lost trust in anyone but myself, and for the most part Jo.

**Where are you?  
I need you  
Don't leave me here on my own  
Speak to me  
Be near me  
I can't survive unless I know you're with me**

**Shadows linger  
Only to my eye  
I see you, I feel you  
Don't leave my side  
It's not fair  
Just when I found my world  
They took you, they broke you, they tore out your heart**

While kidnapped there was one point I thought I was going to die, and I had accepted it. Before I had let the overwhelming darkness consume me, I had imagined Dimitri there with me holding my hand, but even in my own imagination he turned and walked away as I pleaded with him to stay.

**I miss you, you hurt me  
You left with a smile**

I remember in my dorm while packing I looked out the window and saw him and Tasha loading up her car, both smiling.

**Mistaken, your sadness  
Was hiding inside  
Now all that's left  
Are the pieces to find  
The mystery you kept  
The soul behind a guise**

**Where are you  
I need you  
Don't leave me here on my own  
Speak to me  
Be near me  
I can't survive unless I know you're with me**

**Why did you go?  
All these questions run through my mind  
I wish I couldn't feel at all  
Let me be numb  
I'm starting to fall**

**Where are you?  
I need you  
Don't leave me here on my own  
Speak to me  
Be near me  
I can't survive unless I know you're with me**

**Where are you?  
Where are you?**

**You were smiling**

When I finished that song I just sat there. All inspiration to play just left and all my thoughts came back full throttle. I sat there for what seemed like hours when it was really only a few seconds, until a voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Your voice is incredible Rose, you never cease to amaze me." I turned around and saw Dimitri standing in front of the door with it closed behind him.

"How'd you know where I am? The room is soundproof." I said keeping my voice flat and emotionless.

"Jo said you were probably in here."

"Of course he did." I mumbled. "How much did you hear?"

"About half of the first song and the entire second song. I'm guessing you wrote both of those?"

"Yep." I said not really wanting to talk about it. We sat there for a few minutes in silence till he decided to break it.

"We're not together." He blurted out. I looked at him a little confused.

"Well obviously we're not." I said being a smartass.

"I meant Tasha and I, we aren't and never were a couple." He looked down at the ground.

"I thought that's why you left, so you could go live happily ever after with Tasha?"

"You know I could never have be happy with Tasha."

"Do I?" I asked. I really didn't want to get into this with him right now but I guess now was as good of a time as any. Plus maybe it will do some good. "Because all I know is you tell me you love me and say you'll always be there for me, we sleep together and then you leave."

"It wasn't like that. I left because it would have only done you harm if I stayed."

"And why do you say that?"

"Because what if they would have found out? You could have been kicked out and you wouldn't be able to guard Lissa." he said raising his voice just a hair.

"But that was a what if Dimitri. What if they never found? We could still be together to this day but no you went and jumped the gun without even talking to me first." I said raising my voice to match his.

"I wasn't going to risk your future like that."

"That wasn't your choice to make!" I yelled frustrated. He didn't say anything for a second letting me calm down.

"I'm sorry, if I could go back and stay I would. I never imagined that you were going to run off and I would never see you again."

"Yea well I did and I'm sorry but sometimes sorry doesn't fix everything. There's no going back, not now or ever. What's done is done and there's no changing that."

"Why'd you cut yourself?" he asked bluntly. I turned around and looked out the window.

"You saw that huh? Of course you did." I mumbled so I doubt he heard any of it, "half of them weren't me but the one's that were, well lets just say sometimes you need to let just a little of the pain out." he went to say something but I put my hand up to silence him.

"Can we not talk about this right now?" he reluctantly nodded his head and I went by him to go out the door but halfway through I got a really sick feeling in my stomach so I stopped.

"Roza are you ok?" he asked. I ignored him.

"JO!" I shouted. He was in the room in about 10 seconds.

"What?" he said looking worried.

"Hide them." He instantly knew what I was talking about.

"Ok follow me" he said to Dimitri.

"What's going on?" he questioned.

"Strigoi. I need you to get all the guardians and follow Jo, make sure nobody comes in until I do." I told him hurriedly.

"I'm not letting you fight them alone Rose."

"I'm not giving you a choice, we need to protect the moroi and that's what your doing now go, we don't have much longer."

"No." he said firmly.

"Fine I don't have time to argue just make sure all the other guardians are downstairs in the panic room. Jo knows the code and there's a secret door if it's needed, the window is impenetrable so you don't have to worry about it." He and Jo took off after that. I ran to grab my extra stakes stored in the kitchen, I had a habit of hiding at least 1 extra stake in every room, the kitchen just happened to have 2. I climbed on the counter and grabbed the one on top of the cabinets, then jumped off and grabbed the one under the middle of the table. About then Dimitri ran in the room again.

"Please go down there with them, I really don't need your help." I said trying to get him to go downstairs.

"No Roza I'm not going anywhere." He said.

"Whatever, let's go." I got to the backdoor, but paused before I opened it. I took a deep breath and pulled out all the darkness I had been putting away for a time like this.

"Stay back." I directed at Dimitri, then I opened the door. There stood at least 20 strigoi.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"We want you of course," said a voice that still haunts me to this day, Hunter.

"I'm sorry your just going to have to tell HIM I'm not coming back!"

"Well my dear we'll just have to see about that. Get her!"

All the strigoi came after me then. I pulled out the darkness and used it as my secret weapon. With speed faster than a strigoi I had 3 staked before they even knew what was happening. I saw Dimitri follow my lead and start attacking also. I kept going until only one was left, Hunter. We fought for a few minutes because he had been watching me fight the others, but it didn't last long. He had thought he had me figured out, but what he didn't realize is I'm not that same stupid girl I was when he last saw me.

"I really really have waited a long time to kill you hunter, I'm just glad you made it easy by coming to me." I said shoving my stake into his heart. Then when I remembered all the pain he had put me and Jo through, I kept staking him over and over again.

"You fucking BASTARD!" I shouted while staking him. I felt two hands pulling on me and that's when I realized I wasn't alone. I quit staking him and just sat there. A few minutes later, after I composed myself again, I stood up and turned to walk into the house.

"Roza are you ok? What the hell was that?" he asked shocked.

"I told you not to call me that. Yes I'm fine. And that was a long story." I said a little too harsh, I didn't want to have to keep treating him this way but it's what's best for him and for me. I can't get close to him again.

"That didn't look like fine to me." He grabbed my arm to stop me but I didn't look at him.

"Well I am." At this he grabbed my chin and made me look at him.

"Rose you can talk to me, please. I hate seeing you this way."

"What way Dimitri?" I half shouted at him.

"So cold, you used to be so carefree and loving."

"Yea well shit happens and it changes you, and I've had to deal with a lot of shit. You and Lissa were just the beginning."

"Like what? You can tell me."

As we talked I could hear everyone from the panic room coming out and they now were all at the back door listening.

"Do you really want to know?" I asked defeated.

"Yes," piped up Adrian, "we all do."

"Fine meet me in the living room in ten minutes. I have some stuff to take care of first." I said pulling out my cell phone. Everyone walked away except Jo and Dimitri. I waved my hand at Dimitri to tell him to go ahead, and called a friend of mine.

"What is it this time?" said a really good alchemist friend of mine.

"Hey Syd, I have a little favor I need from you." I said lightly.

"How many and where?" she asked exasperatedly

"About 20 and my back yard."

"20 in your backyard! What were so many doing at your house?"

"HIS henchmen coming back for me." I said as if it was nothing, when really it kinda terrified me that he knew where I lived.

"You know I have to tell Abe about this right?"

"I expected you would," about then I hear Dimitri holler at me.

"Rose some man is in here looking for you!"

"Sydney Sage! What did you text him while we were on the phone?"

"No, it wasn't me." She replied. I turned to look at Jo and saw he had a phone in his hand.

"Never mind I know who it was, I'll talk to you later. Thank you Sydney." I said, then hung up and looked at Jo pointedly.

"What he told me to tell him if anything happens, and I'd say this is something….Don't look at me like that Posie, you know your not mad at me. Besides you know you'll want him here when you tell them what happened." At that my expression changed into one of worry and fear. "Aw come here Posie." He said wrapping his arms around me. We stayed like that for a moment before we were interrupted

"Everything ok?" asked my Abe, aka my father, coming out the backdoor. At first I was mad that Jo had texted him so fast but seeing his face I ran to him and enveloped him in a huge hug, "Woah kiz what's wrong?"

"What's not wrong? And how'd you get here so fast?" I asked

"I was already on my way home when Jo here texted me." That would explain it seeing as he now only lives 5 minutes away from me. "What do you mean by everything?"

I checked to make sure no one was listening besides Jo.

"He knows where I live, the stupid fight with Tasha at the bar last night, I'm about to tell everyone about the kidnapping, everyone being here in the first place, and especially HIM." I said summarizing everything in the last 24 hours.

"What happened at the bar with Tasha?" he asked. I proceeded to summarize everything that happened last night and everything she said.

"I'll kill her!" he said angrily.

"No that's my job if she really did have something to do with it." By then everyone had gotten impatient so Christian came looking for me.

"Hey Rosie, are you coming in anytime soon? The other guys in here are getting kinda worried, especially with you out here with some random old guy." He said with a smirk.

"Hey we never said that!" yelled Adrian.

"I'm not some random old guy as you so kindly put it! I'm her father." Said Abe in his best intimidating voice with a scowl on his face. I personally knew he was just scaring firefly and wasn't really mad so I had to fight off the laughter, but seeing Christians face I almost didn't make it.

"Father? I'm sss.. sorry sssir" he stuttered. By that point I lost it and busted out laughing.

"Good one old man!" I said between laughs. I looked up and Abe was smiling too and firefly had a scowl on his face. I decided to be nice and try to stop laughing and follow him inside but it was really hard, especially when I turned to look at Jo. He was trying his hardest not to laugh with me. He was doing better at containing it though.

"Shut up Rosie." Said Chris as I passed him, so I slapped the back of his head.

"Watch it firefly." I warned with a smile. When I got to the living room most everyone had smiles on their faces, obviously havig heard the little exchange outside, except lissa and Dimitri. Lissa looked shocked, probably because I found my father and Dimitri was wearing his guardian mask, completely emotionless, unless you looked in his eyes then I could see a flurry of emotions hiding away.

"Your father?" questioned Lissa.

"Yep."

"When did you meet?" she asked.

"A while back, about three and a half years ago." I said nonchalantly.

"Oh." I could tell that she wanted to ask more but decided not to.

"So uh sorry to point out the obvious but um are you gonna tell us what the fuck that was outside?" asked Adrian.

"Um well some shit happened a while back ago and during that time a certain somebody kinda taught me how to take in the darkness that Lissa builds in and use it while fighting. This way it usually doesn't affect me in normal everyday things, but when I use it, my fighting gets even more kick ass than usual. Plus I've learned a few tricks and studied a lot over the last year and a half."

"Which would be why I was freaking out trying to get Tasha to leave the room last night because what you saw outside could have very well been us last night" Added Jo.

"Huh? How could that have been us?" asked Lissa.

"Last night had caught me off guard. I wasn't paying attention to how much darkness I have been taking in over the past few days and I took a little too much, so when it started to build up last night and I wasn't paying attention, it all tried to come out at once. When it does that I lose complete control and go into a blind rage not caring if or who I hurt or worse…" I explained.

"Speaking of last night…..are you going to tell us what Tasha was talking about and about the shit you were referring to earlier?"asked Christian.

"Yea but you might as well get comfy, this may take a while." I said with a sigh.

**Songs used- "Hole" and "Haunted" by Kelly Clarkson**


	14. Chapter 13

"So what exactly have ya'll figured out on your own?" I asked, curious on what I had to tell them and if I could leave anything out.

"That you were kidnapped a while back ago with Jo and Tasha who might have had something to do with It." said Lissa hesitantly. I could tell she was hiding something though.

"And what part aren't you telling me?" I asked.

"What are you talking about Rose?" she asked trying to play innocent.

"Vasilissa Dragomir. Have you forgotten that I've known you my entire life AND we have a bond? I can tell when you're lying and when you're hiding things so what are you hiding?"

"That I know who and why." She said quickly.

"WHAT?" shouted Adrian. "You told us you didn't know who or why. Why did you lie?"

"Because it wasn't my place to tell you and because I just couldn't."

"I'm a little confused. How do you know that and what's Adrian talking about?"

"Well you see….last night when you went to sleep and I went to sleep….I was kind of pulled into your nightmare….everyone heard me screaming and that's why Jo left the room last night."

"Oh Liss, I'm so sorry you had to endure that! I had no idea that happened." I immediately felt guilty.

"It's okay Rose, it wasn't your fault."

"How much did you see?"

"From when HE walked in until the other one started….well you know. Then Christian woke me up." Thank God she didn't finish it! Then she would have seen way more than she could ever probably handle.

"Wait…does this mean the bond can work both ways?" I asked hesitantly.

"Well I'm not completely sure…it hasn't happened again but I haven't been trying real hard…to give you privacy of course."

"So not to interrupt but who the hell was it?" asked Christian impatiently.

"Christian!" scolded Lissa.

"It's okay. It was Victor." There were gasps from almost everyone, except those who already know.

"Kiz, you don't have to talk about it." Said Abe.

"No really it's okay, they deserve to know." I said, a little unwillingly. "You're right, Victor kidnapped Jo and I…What you don't know is that there was another person." I glanced over at Jo asking his permission to continue. If this was hard on me it's hell on him.

"Who?" asked Lissa curious but softly. Jo gave me a slight nod telling me it was okay to continue.

"Jo's sister, Lanie. Only she didn't make it out alive. For you to fully understand I have to give you some back ground on everything." I rubbed the locket that held her picture in it and looked at my wallpaper on my phone. It was a picture from her birthday the year she passed. We had gone to San Padre for the weekend and were at the beach. In it, we were both wearing blue jeans short shorts, she was wearing a hot pink shirt with a big peace sign on it that said 'Joe gave me crabs' in neon rainbow colored writing that she got from a seafood restaurant called "Joe's Crab Shack" I had bought it for her thinking it was hilarious given that was also her brothers nickname and it soon became her favorite shirt. I was wearing a Purple t-shirt from the same restaurant that said "Peace Love Crabs" in neon yellow orange and pink writing. Her dirty blonde hair was about chin length and had a slight wave to it from the ocean water and mine was back in a stylishly messy pony. Her blue eyes almost matched the ocean in the background and it felt like she was staring back at me. It was one of the few days where I felt carefree if even for just a few minutes. We were hugging each other and smiling like idiots, not realizing that would be our last trip together.

After a minute or so of staring at the picture, I remembered I was telling the group what happened. I blinked a few times to try and get rid of the tears that had started to form and cleared my throat. I looked at the ground and began where I left off.

"When I left school I came here. I conned Jo into thinking I was 21 so he gave me a job behind the bar. After about a year I confessed everything to Jo and told him the truth. He let me keep working there as long as I didn't tell anybody my real age. Well Lanie was about 2 years older than me and had just started working there. We soon hit it off really well and became really good friends. Not too long after that Victor kidnapped us…"

**(Flashback)**

"Ready to go girls?" Asked Jo, grabbing his jacket.

"Yep," said Lanie as we started to follow him out the door. As soon as we got to the door I began to feel nauseous but I had been drinking so I put it off as I had too much. As soon as we got outside I realized I forgot my bag.

"Shit I left my bag!" I cursed stopping. They both turned to look at me.

"Want me to go get it?" Jo asked. I nodded but before he could even take a step someone interrupted.

"Well, look who we have here!" said a voice that I never wanted to hear again.

"How are you here?" I asked pushing Lanie and Jo behind me.

"Well that's not a nice way to greet me Rosemarie."

"Cut the shit Victor what do you want?" he laughed and started walking towards me.

"Ah always the pleasant one aren't you? I want you of course. We want you to join us and then help us get Vasilissa."

"Forget it I won't become one of you. You'll have to kill me first."

"Come with us and we won't harm you."

"We?" I asked only seeing him. He made a gesture and about 20 Strigoi stepped out of the shadows._'__**Shit**_**'**I thought.

"Rose isn't going anywhere!" Said Lanie stepping up beside me.

"You'll have to kill me first," added Jo.

"Guys I love ya'll, but no." I said to them knowing we wouldn't have a chance. "I'll come with you but you leave them out of it"

"Rose no!" said Lanie. Then she started to attack the nearest Strigoi.

"LANIE NO STOP!" I tried shouting but she didn't listen. Easily the strigoi blocked her and within seconds threw her up against the wall. I heard a sickening crack and started to cry. It reminded me of Mason but this time I got pissed. I hadn't paid much attention to the darkness in the bond and it all came out. I had a stake strapped to my thigh under my dress. I grabbed the stake and started attacking. My dress was slowing me down but I gradually felt it rip enough. I had killed 3 when I heard Jo scream.

"ROSE!" I turned and saw him restrained with Victor holding a knife to his chest.

"Stop fighting or he dies." Said Victor, menacingly.

"Fine." I said dropping my stake. I was immediately grabbed and tied up. Then they threw both of us into the back of a van.

"Rose you shouldn't have done that. You could have gotten away." Whispered Jo.

"There's no way I would leave you to die just so I could make it out. Don't worry we'll get out of this." I whispered back even though I knew it was not likely we were going to survive.

"Always the optimist, Rosemarie. Too bad you're wrong…..unless you turn willingly up to you," Said Victor climbing in to blindfold us. After what seemed like hours we finally stopped and were dragged into separate rooms. When I was unblindfolded I noticed it looked like I was in a basement. Soon Victor came in with some huge Strigoi, luckily he did look like he was a Moroi when turned, but it looked like he worked hard to overcome the normal tall lankiness of most Moroi.

"So Rosemarie, have you decided to change yet?" He asked.

"And be stuck with you forever, hell no, but thanks for the offer." I said with fake enthusiasm.

"Ah, your wit was always something I always found charming of you, too bad it won't help you now. Randy, you know what to do. I'll be back tomorrow to see if you've changed your mind."

**(Present)**

"And so it went on for who knows how many days, everything the same. Victor would come ask me if I was ready I'd say no, then Randy would beat me. Gradually the beatings got worse and worse, and then he even started raping me. They never told me about Jo so I didn't know if he was still alive or dead, until one day they brought him in the same room as me. They beat him in front of me but he kept pleading with me not to do it. Eventually I blacked out from the emotions running through me. While I was out, I had a…..dream" I improvised not really knowing what to call it. "When I woke up I had this new determination. I knew it was now or never. I asked Jo how long I had been out and he said it was daytime so we still had a while. They had us tied with flexi cuffs, but mine were really stretched out from the constant yanking I did when Randy was in there. I crawled over to Jo and he helped me pull them the rest of the way off. When he did I yanked his off."

I looked down at my wrist remembering the pain, the evidence still marked on my skin by blistering scars. Suddenly someone was holding my hand and I looked up to see Jo staring at me, with the same pain of remembrance in his eyes.

Once we were free I went back to where I was and pretended to still be cuffed. I lay back down and pretended to still be knocked unconscious. Eventually they came back, and I waited until Victor got close to wake me then I pounced. He stupidly carried a knife with him so that was the first I went for. I eventually got it and knocked him unconscious and looked up to see Jo fighting Randy. They weren't very evenly matched considering it had been years since Jo had trained but he kept up extremely well. Until he looked over to check on me. Then Randy got the opportunity and hit him in the head rendering him unconscious. About the time I realized I potentially lost the last person that was close to me, I snapped. The darkness took over and I went into a blind rage. Next thing I knew I was in the basement with Jo laying beside me and about 15 strigoi laying around me with their heads cut off and an axe that I still have no idea where it came from. I got Jo to wake up then we ran. I never checked to see if Victor was still there but when I thought about it later I realized he was gone. When we got out of the house we found a car that Jo hotwired and we went to the nearest city, which happened to be in Montana actually. Jo decided I needed a hospital and was right seeing as I passed out from blood loss and exhaustion the moment I walked through the doors. When I woke up there was a strange old man, who I later found out was my Dad and Jo was admitted in the room next to mine. After that, since Dad was here, he bought us a house in a different city, but still Texas as per Jo's request, bought this bar and gave it to Jo and bought himself a house next door. And that about sums it all up."

Everyone sat there speechless for a few minutes, until Dimitri spoke up.

"When you said dream you said it hesitantly like you weren't sure it was a dream, why?"

"Of course you picked up on that." I mumbled. I knew I wouldn't tell them the full story, only Jo knew that and it was because he needed to know, they didn't. "That's because it wasn't actually a dream, I was on the verge of dying and more or less spoke to some people from the other side."

**(Flashback)**

Soon I was consumed by nothing but black. It was as if I was in a room but there were no lights or walls. Then all of a sudden there was white everywhere and I felt like I was flying. Then someone was standing in front of me. **'Where am I?' 'Who am I?' 'Who is that man standing in front of me I feel like I should know him.'**I thought to myself.

"You do know me Rose. Think hard. Remember me, and Lissa, Adrian and Jo. Remember Dimitri." He said answering me.

I was taken aback by him being able to read my thoughts but as he started listing names, people's faces started flashing in my mind. Then when he got to the last one my mind froze on my face. Suddenly my heart swelled up to about three times the size then memories of him started flooding my mind. Him and me in a room almost naked with a discarded black dress beside me and him in pajama pants, then him and me drinking hot chocolate, us fighting in what looked like a courtyard, then us in a cabin. But the next image broke my heart all over again. He was leaving with some black haired lady, smiling at her.

"You're remembering." The red-headed guy said.

"What if I don't want to anymore?" I said, not looking up.

"You need to." He said but this time, something in his voice brought up a flood of new memories. I looked up and finally registered who it was with me.

"MASON!" I shouted and ran over and hugged him.

"Took you long enough," He joked.

"Oh my god, Mase, I'm so sorry, you should never have came back for me, I'm so sorry for everything I put you through." I said rapidly.

"Chill, Rose." He said laughing, "Don't feel guilty about my death, it was my time. I've come to realize we were never meant to be."

"I still never should have led you on."

"It's okay Rose, honestly. You just need to worry about waking up and getting out of there."

"What if I don't want to go back? There's not as much pain this way."

"What about Joseph?" he asked. Then it hit me. Jo was still there, still being beaten and here I was talking about not going back. Some friend I am.

"You're an amazing friend Rose, don't doubt that. You need to go back and quit waiting around. Stop waiting for someone to come rescue you and stop trying to give up. Has Joseph given up?" I shook my head. "Then why are you giving up on him? Find that strength that makes you THE Rosemarie Hathaway."

I slapped him upside the head. "IT"S ROSE, ASHFORD!"

"Ah, there she is." He said laughing.

"What if I screw up and he dies I can't deal with it if I lose him and Lanie."

"Then fight. Fight with your heart, you know you can do it as well as I do, but before you go back I have a friend here that wants to see you."

"Who?" I asked but was answered from a voice behind me.

"Why me of course!" Said the sarcastic voice of someone I knew all too well. I turned around and there she and she looked the exact same. Her short blonde hair was sleek and shiny still about chin length, her skin as flawless and her blue eyes were as bright and vivid as ever.

"Oh my God Lanie! I'm so sorry I couldn't save you either!" I exclaimed running up and hugging her.

"It's ok. Like Mase said it was my time. One day it will be your time too, but right now it's not. You couldn't have saved me but you can save my brother. So I need you to go back and fight for him please. You have an awesome future ahead of you and it might not seem like it now or anytime soon but trust me you will. So now, you have to go back and fight, then run. Run for your life."

"I love you, you know. Always will." I said to her, and then turned to face Mase. "You too Ashford. You were like my brother and always watched out for me. I won't ever forget you."

"I still am your big brother Hathaway. I am still watching out for you now. Next time you see Edwardo tell him I said to quit blaming himself and that I'm watching out for him too. Now go back and kick some ass!" he said using his stupid nickname for Eddie.

"Can you say ass here? That just doesn't seem very appropriate for someone of your standards." I joked.

"Just shut up and go!" he said laughing. "Love ya sis." He added fading away.

"I love you too Marie. And tell my brother Princess Lanie says she loves him and to be happy!" said Lanie as she started to fade to.

"I love ya'll both!" I hollered knowing they could still hear me.

Slowly the darkness started to come back along with the pain from all the beatings. Gradually, I became aware of my surroundings and knew I was coming to.

**(End Flashback)**

I felt a hand on my cheek and looked to see it was Baba wiping tears I didn't know had fallen.

"So who was the guy from earlier?" asked Mia.

"That was Hunter. He was one of Victors henchmen and would come 'visit' once a week with Randy. He wasn't in the house the day we escaped."

"So if Victor's henchmen came after you, does that mean he's still alive?" asked Lissa.

"Yeah. I never checked to see if I killed him or not but I guess I didn't and now he knows where I am."

"Which means you'll be leaving soon," said Abe, in a 'no arguing voice'.

"Yes Baba" I said knowing there was no hope.

"Where will you go?" Asked Lissa flooded with fear all of a sudden. I could figure out that it was fear of losing me after just getting me back, without even checking the bond. I just knew her that well, even after 4 years.

"Russia." I said looking at Baba in confirmation.

"Yeah Kizim. I suppose we'll go back to Russia."

"Yay! I can't wait to see everyone again!" I exclaimed then realized that Dimitri was in the room.

"We're coming with you." Said Eddie.

"You all can't come with me. It's too dangerous."

"Rosie, We have spent four years without you and we're not losing you again."

"Please Rose, I can't leave without you or let you leave without me." Begged Lissa.

"Count us in too Little Dhampir, I can't lose what little family I have again."

"Little? Adrian your family's huge."

"Family's more than just blood and you all are more of my family than my relatives are and I'll be damned if I lose any of ya'll, especially my secret lover." He joked.

"Hey wife right here mister!" Exclaimed Aria, but you could see she was playing around.

I couldn't help but laugh at both of them despite the tense atmosphere and the memories floating in my mind.

"We're not letting you leave without us Rose. I saved your ass once and I'll do it again." She joked, but then looked like she kind of regretted it seeing as that brought up Masons' death.

"Hey Edwardo can I talk to you in the other room for a second?" I asked knowing I needed to tell him.

"Yeah" he said and followed me into the kitchen. "Is this about your dream?"

"Yep."

"I knew it. You saw him didn't you?" he asked. 'The Edwardo gave it away."

"Yeah I saw him. He told me that it wasn't our fault. He's happy where he is and accepted that it was his time. He said and I quote, 'Next time you see Edwardo tell him I said to quit blaming himself and that I'm watching out for him.'"

"Wow. I wish I could tell him thanks." He said

"He knows. Trust me he knows."

"Thank you Rose. It means a lot that you told me that." He started to walk out the door then stopped and turned around. "I meant what I said, Mia and I are coming with you no matter what you say. I've already lost Mason and you once, I'm not letting it happen again."

"I suppose I can't really say no given I would do the same if the roles were reversed."

He walked out and headed back to the living room. I leaned against the counter suddenly feeling very tired. All the emotions from today were starting to catch up to me. I had tried to keep them at bay but it's kind of hard to remain distant when you're discussing you and your brothers kidnapping and torture and a best friends untimely death. I was so caught up in the emotions my body started to sag and I knew I was falling but I never hit the floor. Two strong arms caught me and helped me stand back up. I smelled the after shave and knew who it was. He didn't let go so I looked up at him.

"I'm fine now you can let go. I just lost my balance."

"Don't try to lie to me Roza, that wasn't because you lost your balance. Now are you okay?"

"Yes I'm fine just on emotional overload." We sat there in silence for a few minutes just soaking up each others presence, until he spoke.

"I'm coming with you. If you want I'll resign as a Lissa's guardian and you can send her back to court even though I doubt she'll go willingly, but I'm not leaving you."

"Dimitri…" I started exasperated but then a thought hit me. "Wait Lissa's guardian?"

"Yes Lissa's." he said a little amused.

"But I thought…."

"You never let me fully explain. I tried it as Tasha's guardian but once I realized I couldn't give her what she wanted and after I heard you ran away I got reassigned back to Lissa. You didn't think they'd let the last Dragomir come to Texas without a near guard did you? The other ones are just extras that keep their distance." He explained, and then I felt like an idiot. I guess what they say is true 'to assume makes an ass out of you and me'.

"Oh. But I can't let you leave Lissa and even if that was the case I would not let you put yourself in harms way over me."

"Roza don't you understand. Even if you tell me no, I will follow. You're not getting rid of me that easily. I've lost you twice now and I won't do it again."

"Twice?"

"The first time when I left I knew it was okay because I knew I would see you when Tasha came to visit but I still considered it losing you, then you took off and I knew I wouldn't find you unless you wanted me to, that made number 2."

"I really have no choice do I?" I asked hoping what he said was true but also trying not to get my hopes up. He left once, who says he won't again? I started feeling light headed but put it off as being tired and figured I'd go lay down in a minute.

"Nope. The only choice you have is whether Lissa and them come along too not that I think you'll have much choice in that either." He said with a grin.

"Fine, tell Liss to pack her stuff." I said, turning to walk out of the room when my head started hurting. I put my palm to my temple and started rubbing it. "Tell them I'm going to…"

I didn't finish because I fell, but yet again the pain from hitting the floor never came. I felt myself in two warm arms and looked up to see Dimitri's face etched with concern.

"I'm all right comrade." I said sleepily.

"No you're not you need to lay down." He said.

"Okay, whatever you say." I said finally, letting exhaustion consume me and faded into a sea of black.


	15. Chapter 14

All I felt was warmth. For the first time in a long time I was comfortable and safe. I buried myself deeper and grinned. I wasn't sure where I was but I liked it. All of a sudden whatever I was laying on moved. I didn't open my eyes but tried to figure out where I was. I felt arms wrapped around me and assumed I was in Jo's arms. Then I inhaled and realized that assumption was wrong. I opened my eyes and looked at the face of a sleeping god.

He was sleeping and looked so peaceful. He was on his back and I was on my side curled into him with his arms wrapped around me. For a minute I forgot everything that had happened between us and just relaxed in his embrace. Then reality came crashing down. I can't be in his arms and I definitely can't like it. I can't get involved because it'll only end in heartbreak for me and I can't handle that.

I slowly tried to work my way out of his arms but they just wrapped tighter around me. _'Well crap'_ I thought. Since working my way out wasn't helping I decided to go with the next best thing.

"DIMITRI BELIKOV LET GO OF ME!" I hollered. Harsh I know, but necessary. He jerked awake and let me go.

"I'm so sorry Roza." He said looking as if he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Would you care to explain why you are in my bed with me?" I asked calmly.

"When you fainted I brought you in here and tried to lay you down and leave but you clung on to my shirt in a death grip. I decided to just wait until you let go but I must have fallen asleep waiting."

"How long have I been out?" I asked

"Just 4 hours," said Jo walking in the room. "I heard you screaming at Belikov and knew you were finally up." he explained.

"Before we leave we have to go to the bar and get things in order," I said realizing Jo needed to put someone in charge and I needed to say goodbye to some people. "Casey's coming with us, right?"

"Is that a smart idea?" asked Dimitri. I bet he thought she was human.

"Dimitri didn't you notice that Case and her brother are Dhampirs too? She knows about everything that's happened with me and Jo, that's why she doesn't hate me for being so close to him." I half joked about the last part but it was also pretty true. As much as she likes Jo if she didn't know the story she would hate me for our relationship.

"Oh, I guess I wasn't paying attention to her. She wasn't a threat and she wasn't you, so I didn't focus much on her." He said a little too honestly.

"On that note I'm gonna leave. You two need to get ready to go cause we're leaving in an hour. I already cleared going to the bar with your father and he reluctantly agreed but said as soon as everything's in order we're leaving straight from the bar," Jo informed, then left the room.

"Roza I'm sorry about startling you when you woke up but honestly that was the best sleep I've had in a long time," said Dimitri. We were both sitting on the bed next to each other still. I looked at the bed and the words just slipped out.

"Me too, me too" I whispered. He reached over and grabbed my chin gently to force me to look at him.

"Then why do you fight it?" he asked softly.

"Fight what?" I asked feigning ignorance.

"This," he murmured before his lips were on mine. I tried to fight it at first but knew it was a losing battle so I gave in. We kissed for what seemed like hours but was probably only seconds. His tongue touched my bottom lip asking for entrance and I allowed it. We sat there kissing for a minute or two but I snapped back to reality when he had put his hand on my hip to pull me closer and his hand had accidentally slipped under the hem of my shirt touching my bare back. I jerked away.

"Don't do that again." I warned but it didn't seem to convincing even to me.

"Why not?" he asked challenging me.

"Because I can't go there again. I just can't."

"Is it because of your boyfriend?" he asked.

"My wha…"I started before I remembered what he was talking about, John. "He's part of it but a very small part. I can't go there with you again Dimitri. We had our chance and it failed."

"What chance Roza? We never had one. There were always too many obstacles in the way."

"One of them being you leaving. We could have been happy and had plenty of chances, but you left. I was 3 months away from graduating. Then we could have been together forever but no, you ruined that chance."

"Roza I am more sorry than you will ever know about leaving that day. If I could take it back I would. I thought I was doing what was best for you but I was wrong. I regret that decision every day of my life. All I'm asking is for you to just try and believe me. I love you." His words shook me and almost brought me to tears, but I couldn't cry.

"I'm sorry but I can't. You've promised you loved me before and then left saying it was all a lie, who says this time will be any different?" I almost broke down saying those words but I couldn't handle it if I let him in again and he left me. I would shatter and there would be no picking up the pieces. I walked out of the room and into my bathroom before he could say anything. I started the shower and jumped in. I cried for a few minutes but made sure not to make any noises in case Dimitri was still out there. Eventually I got out but the whole time in there and getting out I had a new song floating in my head. I wrapped a towel around me and one around my hair and peeked to make sure he was gone. When I saw he was I ran to my bedside table and pulled out one of my many note books for song ideas. I wrote down what was in my head and immediately felt a little better.

I went to my closet and pulled out a pair of my tight boot cut blue jeans and a black off the shoulder top that was supposed to be loose on top and got tight right under your boobs but since mine were so big it was pretty much tight all over. I grabbed a red lacy tank top and put it on under the shirt. I grabbed a pair of socks and my dark brown cowgirl boots. When I was fully dressed I looked in the mirror. I honestly looked good. The jeans were tight around my legs and ass and they had little diamonds on the back pockets that drew in all the boys' eyes. My shirt was tight enough to show off my boobs plus I wrinkled the shirt a little right under my chest to accent it even more. I brushed my hair and blow dried it. Then I decided to straighten it. By this point I only had about ten minutes before we were supposed to leave so I quickly did smoky eye make-up and put on reddish pink lip gloss with just a touch of blush.

I grabbed 2 stakes and put one in each boot. Normally I'd only bring one plus the one in my purse but with all these extra people it's better to be safe than sorry. I quickly grabbed my purse and went out into the kitchen. Everyone was already in there.

"About time Rosie," said Christian.

"Shut it Firefly and if I have to warn you about that again I will make it to where you will never be able to help Liss carry on yalls family lines, got it?" I threatened and he visibly paled a few shades. I was totally kidding but he didn't need to know that, it was too fun to watch him squirm.

"Posie be nice," said Jo with a smile.

"I thought that was nice?" I joked back.

"Hey little Dhampir, since when are you full out country now?" he said looking at my outfit.

"Well Lanie talked me into the boots and it turns out they're actually pretty comfortable especially when walking up and down the bar and stage and they're easy to fight in. After that I kinda had to change my outfits to match the boots and it all just eventually grew on me."

"Aw our little Rose is a cowgirl!" Mocked Christian, but notice he said Rose this time.

"Uh, not quite. I still won't go near a horse or barn…Animals don't like me that much."

"Can you blame them?" he joked. About then my dad walked into the room.

"Can we leave now?" he asked impatient.

"Yes Baba lets go now. I'm taking my bike. Y'all can take the SUV's." I said grabbing my keys. Luckily nobody argued. I grabbed my keys and headed to the garage. There stood my shiny pride and joy. It was a black Ducati Street Fighter and was perfect for me. I slipped my helmet off the shelf and walked towards it while everyone else went for the SUV's .

"I'm riding mine too," announced Jo. "I think Dimitri and Pavel can handle driving the SUV's plus I need my bike taken care of too." He said knowing why I wanted to take my bike.

"Fine I'll race you." I challenged with a smile.

"You're on. Do you all remember how to get back to the bar? If not just follow Pavel. We won't be too far ahead." He said with a smile directing most of that towards Dimitri and the rest of the gang.

"Ready teddy bear?" I asked slipping my helmet on.

"You bet," he answered slipping his own on.

"Let's go!" I hollered, then took off. He wasn't too far behind and quickly caught up. The whole time we were pretty much neck and neck but I wasn't really paying attention. On my back I felt truly free for just a bit and I soaked up every minute of it. At one point I decided to take a short cut through the alleyways and just barely made it through the parking lot before Jo did.

"Beat ya!" I taunted, after turning the bike off and taking my helmet off.

"You cheated," He accused.

"Did not! You did not say no shortcuts."

"Whatever you say Rosie Posie." I just laughed and went over to where everyone else was.

"Y'all ready to party?" I asked jokingly.

"Kiz" warned my dad.

"I'm kidding Baba absolutely no fun will happen tonight." I said with a fake serious face on.

"Kiz, you are too much like me."

"Is that a compliment?" I asked curiously.

"Sometimes it is and sometimes it's a curse," Then everyone laughed. When we got inside I saw John at the bar.

"Hey guys go find a table and we'll meet y'all there," I said pulling Jo with me. He went behind the bar to talk to the bartenders while I made my way over to John.

"Hey sexy whatcha doing?" I joked coming over to sit by him.

"Looking for a gorgeous woman but now that you're here I won't find any hotter," he joked back.

"Aw you're too sweet!" I said with a smile.

"Where's your little posse? Did they finally leave?" he asked.

"No actually Jo and I are about to leave the country for a little while and they're coming with me."

"Did they finally caught you and now you're on the run?" he joked.

"Depends on which crime you're referring to?" I teased back.

"Why for killing all the douche bags that try to hit on you of course."

"Oh that? No I'm too good at disposing the bodies, I'll never get caught," I told him with a wink and a smile.

"Good to know. No but seriously, they're all coming with you?"

"Yep."

"And how are things with the ex?"

"Good enough to where I don't need you to pretend to be my boyfriend anymore but not enough that we're back together cause that will never happen."

"Are you so sure about that?" he asked not trying to pry but trying to help.

"Pretty positive. I couldn't handle it if he left again and I know that's what's going to happen."

"How do you know that's going to happen?"

"Well it's kind of complicated."

"How so?"

"Well…me and him have been trained pretty much since birth to be bodyguards because that's what our parents and grandparents all have done. We even went to a special school to help us learn to fight and learn academically. I was very serious about it until the person I was supposed to protect when I graduated got really mad and accused me of some nasty things so I left and got out of that life. He…he is too dedicated to his job so when his charge leaves so will he and I'm not going to follow them around."

"Who says he won't leave that life if you asked him too?"

"Because I don't want to get in the way of his career plus the person he's supposed to protect is my ex bestfriend and even thought she hurt me I can't stand to see her without the best, and he's the second best." I said the last part with a smile.

"Second best?" he asked probably already knowing where I was going with that.

"Well yea, come on, nobody beats THE Rose Hathaway-Mazur! Shouldn't you know this already?" I joked.

"Oh trust me I do. But seriously y'all live a very complicated life." he said with a half smile.

"Tell me about it," I mumbled waving a bartender over. I then ordered John and I shots and me a drink. Thankfully, my Dhampir traits allow me to drink just a little without it affecting me.

"So why's this girl so important that she needs a bodyguard?" John said. Now came the really hard part.

"She's an extremely wealthy heiress and all of her family is dead so she's the last in her line and certain people that didn't like her family are trying to kill her to completely wipe out the whole family."

"Wow sounds dangerous. I always knew you were a bad ass just never knew how much." He teased.

"Hey I'm the most bad ass person you know!"

"That is true." He conceded.

"Thank you!" I said smugly. "No but seriously, thanks for pretending to be my boyfriend and for all the times you've helped me with the assholes here and pretty much everything you've done for me."

"You make it sound like we'll never see each other again. I thought you said you were just going for a little while not moving," he said, confused. Truth was who knew what was going to happen with Victor and Tasha and everything else, I may not be alive to come back to see him.

"Well you never know what's gonna happen. My plane could mysteriously crash and I never see you again so it's better to get everything out now then regret not doing it later."

"True, but you better not let anything happen to your sexy ass anytime soon because I expect you to come back here and do a duet with me!" he said trying to lighten the mood a little.

"Sorry John, but nobody wants to hear you sing again, it took a week to get all the dogs in the city to stop howling!" I teased.

"Hey I'm not that bad!" he defended.

"Sure sure. I'll come back and do a duet with you if you do me a favor."

"What's your favor?" He asked reluctantly.

"You have to agree first. I promise you'll love it."

"That's scary. Who knows what'll happen if I agree to this without knowing what it is."

"Just man up and agree," I joked. "I promise you'll like it, even Jo is in on it."

"Fine what?"

"Well you see I'm going to be out of the country for a while and I won't be able to really take care of my bike so I kinda need somebody that's good with bikes to watch mine for a while and keep it in top shape for when I get back…." I trailed watching his expression get happier and happier as he realized what I was saying.

"You serious? You want me to look after your Ducati? I have to be dreaming."

"No." corrected Jo coming up to us from behind the bar. "WE want you to look after BOTH of our bikes."

"I think I've died and gone to heaven," John said with a laugh. He's always loved motorcycles but could never afford to actually get a good one. He always got used ones that were just a mile or two from breaking down, but he always fixed them up as best as he could with his budget and got them working.

"Here's the keys buddy. But if I come back and there's even a scratch…well I'll let you see how truly badass I am." I threatened, only being half serious.

"Oh no, nothing will happen to them I promise," he said.

"Good," said Jo pulling out his keys while I gave him mine.

"They're both outside so you'll have to get help bringing them to your place but I trust you can handle it," I told him. "Now without further ado, I have to get back to my little group but give me a hug first" I said pulling him into a hug. "Now consider yourself officially back on the market" I joked.

"Hey before you leave can you do me a favor flower?" he asked using that stupid nickname.

"What is it?" I asked cautiously.

"Nope you have to agree first," he said pulling the stunt I pulled on him.

"Something tells me I won't like this as much as your surprise, but I'll bite. Sure I will do you a favor."

"Good. Go sing me a song or two so I can hear your beautiful voice one last time."

"That I think I can manage. I wrote a new song today. But it's a really serious song so I doubt you'll want me to sing it," I told him with a small smile.

"Of course I want to hear it if you wrote it. Just sing a fun one first."

"Like what?"

"Hmmm" he said thinking it over. "Do this little girl. That one's sexy and bad ass. Perfect for you."

"Ok will do. I can't guarantee I'll see you after I sing so if I don't, I'll see ya around and don't get into too much trouble. And be safe, no STD's" I joked with him.

"Bye flower." He said with a laugh.

"Shut up Johnny boy!" I threatened.

"Ok fine but seriously. You better come back for that duet."

"Aye Aye captain." I said giving him another hug.

"Bye klutz." He said using his actual nickname for me.

"Bye Johnny. I'll see ya soon," I said with a wink. I walked over to the stage and waited for the guy who was singing to finish. When he was done I went up on stage. I decided right then that I would do 3 songs. I wouldn't do them all at once I'm not extremely selfish and hog the mike the whole night but I wanted to do one fun one I wrote after I was kidnapped and the other that I wrote today.

"Hey everyone if you don't know, I'm Rose. tonight I'm leaving for a while and I'm not sure when I'm coming back so I thought I would sing a few songs for old times sake. This first one I've done before but if you don't know I wrote this for a good friend that had a stupid boyfriend that cheated on her."

**You got your keys, but where ya goin'?  
The third degree just isn't workin'  
Cause you walked out without asking me to go  
And if I followed you home, would you be alone?**

**I checked your phone, cause it was beepin'  
Are you alone?  
I know you're creepin'  
Cause you walked out without asking me to go  
But if I followed you home, I hope you're alone**

**I'm three steps from the edge, woah  
Don't push me over it  
Don't you know, don't you know**

**Every girl is capable of murder, if you hurt her  
Watch out you don't push me any further, any further  
You're not the only one walking 'round with a loaded gun  
This little girl is capable of murder, cause you hurt her**

**My hands are clean, not yet a killer  
Ain't I your queen?  
And did you tell her?  
Cause you broke down all my shoulda known betters  
And then I followed you home, throwin' sticks and stones**

**I'm two steps form the edge woah  
Don't push me over it  
Don't you know, don't you know**

**Every girl is capable of murder, if you hurt her  
Watch out you don't push me any further, any further  
You're not the only one walking 'round with a loaded gun  
This little girl is capable of murder, cause you hurt her**

**Don't you know you should never treat a girl like that?  
Got a good alibi and my bag's all packed  
Don't you know you should never treat a girl like that?  
Cause the next one's gonna have a hammer pulled back**

**Every girl is capable of murder  
So watch out you don't push me any further  
(But you fucking hurt her)**

**Every girl is capable woah, if you hurt her  
Watch out you don't push me any further  
You're not the only one walkin' round with a loaded gun  
This little girl is capable of murder (Hey!)  
This little girl is capable of murder, cause you hurt her**

When I was done I walked off stage and to the table where everyone else was.

"That was good Little Dhampir. And very sexy I might add," teased Adrian.

"Hey right here mister!" said Aria glaring at him and crossing her arms, you would almost think she's serious except for the small smirk on her face.

"Sorry babe you know I only love you. It's not Rose's fault she so sexy!" he joked.

"Adrian you better watch out you are most likely about to get slapped," Informed Christian.

"Thanks for the warning I'm so glad you can understand the female mind cause I definitely cannot," he said laughing.

"Yes well, it's not that hard for him to understand because he is a female," I informed Adrian.

"Hey Rosie not nice! I am most definitely a man."

"Are you sure about that cause uh, I've been pulled into your sex lives and it seems to prove me right and you wrong."

"Rose be nice," warned Lissa with a laugh.

"Fine but only for a little bit." We sat there and talked and joked for a while but the whole time I had today's earlier conversations on my mind. I went over to the bar to check and see if Jo was getting everything straightened out and ordered another shot. While standing there Dimitri came up beside me.

"That was a good performance earlier," he said casually.

"Thanks," I said hoping he wouldn't bring up earlier conversation. Unfortunately luck was not on my side.

"I'm sorry I bombarded you earlier that probably wasn't the right time to bring any of it up but it never really seems like any time is the right time. I meant every word that I said though."

"And I meant everything I said. I can't do this Dimitri. I'm sorry but I can't afford to."

"Why won't you believe me?" he asked.

"Because I've learned the hard way that people break promises whether they want to or not it's just the way of life. Now if you'll excuse me I have another performance that I promised to do so I'll be back." I walked back over to the stage needing to get away from that conversation as quick as possible.

"Hey everyone I'm back. I'm gonna sing 2 more songs then I'm done for the night so bare with me. These aren't exactly dancing or party songs but they've been on my mind so I need to get them out. This first on I wrote a while back ago but this is the first time I've ever actually sung it in front of anyone so I hope you like it.

**No time for goodbye he said  
As he faded away  
Don't put your life in someone's hands  
They're bound to steal it away  
Don't hide your mistakes  
'Cause they'll find you, burn you  
Then he said**

**If you want to get out alive  
Whoa-oh, run for your life  
If you want to get out alive  
Whoa-oh, run for your life**

I wrote this after I was kidnapped about the day I saw Mason and Lanie, but I never really had the courage to sing it in front of anyone but Jo and Casey.

**This is my last time she said  
As she faded away  
It's hard to imagine  
But one day you'll end up like me  
Then she said**

**If you want to get out alive  
Whoa-oh, run for your life  
If you want to get out alive  
Whoa-oh, run for your life  
If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive)  
Whoa-oh, run for your life (Life)  
If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive)  
Whoa-oh, run for your life**

**If I stay it won't be long  
'Til I'm burning on the inside  
If I go I can only hope  
That I make it to the other side  
If you want to get out alive  
Whoa-oh, run for your life  
If you want to get out alive  
Whoa-oh, run for...**

**If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive)  
Whoa-oh, run for your life  
If you want to get out alive (If you want to get out alive)  
Whoa-oh, run for...**

**If I stay, it won't be long  
'Til I'm burning on the inside  
If I go I can only hope  
That I make it to the other side  
If I stay, it won't be long  
'Til I'm burning on the inside  
If I go, and if I go**

**Burning on the inside  
Burning on the inside  
Burning on the inside**

The audience cheered and while I was looking around I saw the group at their table. I purposefully avoided looking at Dimitri knowing the song I was about to sing was about him.

"This last one I wrote just today and nobody has ever seen or heard it so consider this a test." I joked.

**I don't see you laugh  
You don't call me back  
But you kiss me when you're drunk**

**I don't know your friends  
Don't know where you've been  
Why are you the one I want**

**Don't put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can't stay  
Don't slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it's okay  
Don't say it doesn't matter cause it's gonna matter to me  
I can't be alone with you...  
You've got me out on the edge every time you call  
And I know it would kill me if I fall  
I can't be alone with you**

At that part I accidentally let my guard slip and looked at Dimitri. I couldn't read his expression very well because we were so far apart and he had slipped his guardian mask on, but I knew this song didn't make him too happy.

**Please don't chain that door  
I can't win this war  
Your body's like a pill I shouldn't take**

**Don't put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can't stay  
Don't slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it's okay  
Don't say it doesn't matter cause it's gonna matter to me  
I can't be alone with you...  
You've got me out on the edge every time you call  
And I know it would kill me if I fall  
I can't be alone with you**

**Don't put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can't stay  
Don't slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it's okay  
Don't say you love me cause you know you're gonna love me and leave  
I can't be alone with you...  
You've got me out on the edge every time you call  
And I know it would kill me if I fall  
I can't be alone with you**

Pretty much the whole song I maintained eye contact with him trying to get him to understand that I can't do this again. At the end of the song I had tears in my eyes so I hurriedly exited the stage and made my way to the back exit but before I got all the way there a voice and it stopped me in my tracks.

**Songs used in this chapter- "Alone with you" by Jake Owen and "Get out Alive" by Three Days Grace and "Murder" by Kady Groves**


	16. Chapter 15

**I had one review that said**_** "**__**i dont think u shoould have dimitri sing to rose cuz i find that alittle weird cuz just picture him in your mind a guy with huge muscles singing "**_

**I would have loved to reply in a message but you weren't logged in so I decided to here. I 100% appreciate your review and after I read it I thought about what you said, but I decided that I think it makes even more of an impact because he is a big masculine man. To me it seems more sincere and meaningful because a lot of people at some point in their lives are at a loss for words and that's where music comes in to say the exact right thing no matter how some one looks.**

**As always R&R and if you feel like it check out my other story call "The Summer That Changed Me."**

"I think you and I need to have a chat Posie."Said Jo grabbing my elbow and pulling me out to the dance floor. Some slow song had came on so I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my head in his chest letting the tears slowly fall as he held on to my waist and we started swaying to the music.

"I love you Posie, you know that so don't get mad at me for what I'm about to say." He said softly but seriously. "I understand why you're scared to let him in but I think you should give him a chance. I know you're scared he's going to hurt you but I honestly believe he loves you. I can see it in his eyes every time he looks at you and you didn't see him when you fainted. When you fainted he refused to leave your side. I know you were holding on to him but I believe that even if you weren't he wouldn't have left." I looked up at him.

"He might love me now but what about later? I can't handle it if he leaves again. You've seen how I was the first time."

"I know Hun. You know the night of your concert we had a little chat where I threatened him, and you know what he said? He told me that leaving you was the biggest mistake of his life and he will live with that guilt eating at him for the rest of his life and I actually believed every word he said."

"But…" I started but he cut me off.

"Rosemarie Mazur. Are you really going to live the rest of your life in fear? You and I both know that's not who you are and we both know you are going to eventually forgive him, especially when we get to Russia and you're surrounded by him and his family."

"I know, I'm just scared. I know Rose Hathaway-Mazur is hardly ever scared but even if I forgive him what about Victor? I can't handle it if I lose him because of that bastard."

"You know as well as I do that he's not going to leave your side while Victors' threatening you whether you forgive him or not."

"I know, I just wish that wasn't true. I also don't know if I can quite forgive him yet and get over this fear. It's gonna take time."

"I understand, just think about what I said." About then we realized we had stopped moving so we started again while I put my heads back on his chest.

"What are we gonna do Teddy? We can't run forever."

"No but we can until we figure something out. I love you and I will not let him get you again. But you have to promise me that you won't do anything foolish. I know you and you will do whatever he says in order to protect the people you love but please don't get yourself killed."

"I can't promise that but I can promise that I will try my hardest to stay alive no matter what happens but I will do anything in order to protect you and the others. I wish I could say I won't but that's just not who I am. But no matter what happens in the future, if I don't remember to say it more often, I love you and you're the best not real big brother a girl could ask for Teddy."

"You too not real little sis." About then we were interrupted by someone on stage. I looked over and saw Dimitri up there looking awkward. I almost wanted to laugh because of how cute it was but I restrained myself.

"I know I'm not that good of a singer but I decided to risk my masculinity by coming up here. Roza, I know that I hurt you and everything I say comes out wrong and at the risk of losing all of my masculinity by what I'm about to say but, I am going to steal a line from a singer that pretty much fits exactly. This is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I'm sorry and wish I would have realized what I had when you were mine," I almost laughed again at the thought of Dimitri quoting Taylor Swift but I was in too much shock to even smile. "I know that anything I say is pointless so I decided to sing you this song instead."

**Watch my life,  
Pass me by,  
In the rear view mirror  
Pictures frozen in time  
Are becoming clearer  
I don't wanna waste another day  
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes**

**Yeah...**

**Cause I want you,  
And I feel you,  
Crawling underneath my skin  
Like a hunger,  
Like a burning,  
To find a place I've never been  
Now I'm broken,  
And I'm faded,  
I'm half the man I thought I would be:  
But you can have what's left of me**

**I've been dying inside,  
Little by little,  
No where to go,  
But going out of my mind  
In endless circles,  
Running from my self until,  
You gave me a reason for standing still**

**It's falling faster,  
Barely breathing,  
Give me something,  
To believe in  
Tell me: It's not all in my head**

**Take what's left  
Of this man  
Make me whole  
Once again**

**I've been dying inside you see  
I'm going out of my mind  
Out of my mind  
I'm just running in circles all the time  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left of me?  
Just running in circles in my mind  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left  
Will you take what's left of me?**

By the end of the song he had one lone tear leaking from his eye but he didn't even attempt to hide it. He had looked at me the whole song and continued now as he walked to me.

Beside me I heard Jo mutter "You ready yet?" Referring to our conversation we had and I just elbowed him and wiped the tears that had started falling listening to Dimitri singing. I couldn't believe that this insanely masculine man that refused to show his emotions to anyone had just really gone up there and bared his soul for everyone to see all for me. By this point he had reached me.

"Roza, I know that I made the biggest mistake in the world by leaving you and I know that words won't really help but I promise if you give me a chance I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, please forgive me?"

I couldn't answer because I was so stunned, so I just stood there for a second before I finally regained the ability to speak again.

"I will give you a chance but if you hurt me again, you will regret it," I told him but because his smile that had just appeared made my voice get a little weaker, my threat wasn't very intimidating.

"Never going to happen." He said grinning before he leaned down and kissed me softly.

**Songs used- quoted "Back to December" by Taylor Swift and sang "What's Left of Me" by Nick Lachey**


	17. AN: sorry

I have a problem. My mind is just drawing a blank on this story so for right now I guess it I am temporarily putting it on hiatus. I'm really sorry to everyone who has stuck with this story and I promise as soon as inspiration kicks in I'll continue. I really hate doing this and once again I sincerely apologize.

While this one is on Hiatus, I will continue my other story and possibly start another that I have been writing on the side.

If anyone has any ideas or comments feel free to share and I will try to get this story back up and running as soon as I can!

Sincerely,

Cassandra


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